I didn't apply with any diagnosis. The woman whom I met applied everything. I gave her some raw data, and some records, and that was it. I have no clue who she was. She said she worked for the SSA. That is all I know. This was in a town of 2,000 people, and she retired shortly after helping me(she said she was soon). Not sure if that changes anything. For example, there is NO SSA office in that town. It is like...2 hours away?

I have tried to work. I can't. At least not more than a week or two. At home? With my family? Life is great! OK, well, my wife has to put up with a thing or two. But generally there are no issues. Only when we go out is there problems. I can barely even go grocery shopping and pay the bills. We went out today and I almost had an episode as bad as used to have many years ago. lol We went to the SSA! It was in regards to fixing information on my and my son's accounts. We live in a small place now too. The guy who worked there had no idea what he was doing. We wasted 10 hours for nothing. Waling 12 miles with infants, etc. I told my wife "We wasted our day. He had no clue what to do" and we were assaulted by the security guard and threatened for 30 minutes! What a nightmare! Now I feel like I am agoraphobic. I just want to lay in bed and cry... I can't handle stuff like that. I wish I could. I was torn between either killing him or crying in bed. At least I had the strength to choose crying in bed. I actually defended myself and my family. I got in his face too and defended my kids. I swore at him. I threatened him. He eventually backed down and went inside the building. I feel proud about that at least. Normally I just freeze up and allow the abuse. Later regretting it.

But I just can't handle that stuff. At jobs, my bosses are little kids in high school. The rules for the job change depending on the day of the week and who is working. The pay is a fraction of what it used to be. The bills more expensive. The personalities of the co-workers are abased and deliberately ignorant and lazy. The hours are either 20 a week or 100. Split shifts. Mornings one day. Nights the next. Both the following. Maybe others handle this fine. I simply cannot. I want to. Really. I have always need proud of my industriousness. Anyhow...

What is a CDR?