Originally Posted by Dr. Smith

Hi Linda,

I know where you're coming from, but please don't sell them, or yourself, short. The people you love, and who love you most, have the greatest capacity for understanding & compassion.

If it's the descriptive language that's difficult to put into words, try googling: describe pain. There you'll find words and language to help describe it to both doctors and loved ones.

If it's a matter of comprehension, everyone has had incidents of pain in their lives, both physical and emotional. Think about those times and try to analogize. "Remember that time when ______. Remember the pain and emotions you felt? How bad it hurt and no-one else could understand? Now imagine feeling (like) that every day of your life. Well... that's how I feel, Sweetheart."

That's blunt and oversimplified, but I think you get the idea. Analogizing - putting things into terms people can understand and relate to from their own experiences - is often a powerful learning/teaching tool.

I think it's also important to be aware that our loved ones often seem to behave as if they're ignoring or forgetting about our pain. If they seem to be ignoring it, it may be because they don't want to be the reminders; they don't want to make you feel bad/worse by bringing things up. They may also be trying to distract you from thinking about it because distraction is a legitimate and effective way of coping with chronic pain. If it seems that they forget how much pain you're in, that may be a good thing too. That may mean you're doing a good job of coping, and putting those around you at ease rather than uncomfortable and on edge. Though we may be victims, I think it's best that we don't play the part of victims - that we don't accept that role (but from what I've read, I think you already know that. ).

I hope we can talk more about this,

Doc

Originally Posted by ginnie

Sorry you are having these back issues. None of it is fun. I have had two cervical fussions. I was an artist working under a magnafier for 30 years. I ruined my cervical spine. My ankles gave way with another degenerative condition, so top and bottom are not working right. I could not go back to work in that condition. I do hope you can find something good to do work wise. I can't tell you how much I miss my business, travel, the excitement of having my own business. Working is a joy, I never did get over that not working part. I still want to badly. ginnie

Originally Posted by just not right

I had L4-S1 fusion when i was 37. Im just wondering how many people did more then 1 back surgery. What kind of job did you have? Did that job make put more stress on your back? Right know im on Long term disablity just had hip arthroscopic surgery on 2/17. When i heal and recover i will go back to work, but my job terminated me october 2012 because i was on LTD for a year. I was a communication installer pretty physical job. Im just wondering if a should find job less physical job so my back surgery doesnt give out. I really dont want to have another back surgery. What jobs did you do and was it to much on your back? I dont think i can sit in office doing work. I would go nuts. So whats a good job for me to do?

Originally Posted by just not right

So whats a good job for me to do?

Originally Posted by ginnie

Do you have a passion in your life that you love to do? Sometimes that can indeed, lead to your own business. What are your interests? ginnie