NO - you're not unloveable. Sometimes I think it;s just because people are so immersed in their own live that they don't look up and see a friend there. You are loved and don't for get it. I love you. Barbo

Lonely1, I wish you had come into the chatroom with us and we could have gotten better acquainted. Up above, where it says Chat Rooms (0), if any of us are in there, click on it....last night it said (4).

And Barbo is right...I am a good example of being "immersed" in my own life right now...that explains my absence but you all are in my heart where ever I am.

After brain surgery, hip surgery, a trip to a psychiatric hospital, the loss of my job and my divorce, I, too, felt like committing suicide. I used to go to our Canadian Mental Health for help, but they devote more time to creating jobs than solving problems. I didn't want to talk to anybody. Every time I did, I'd get a visit from the police who would send me to a hospital. So I suffered alone. Then, my best friend down the hall in this apartment complex, slashed his wrists and was found dead. I was devastated. I still think of him some two years later. Like me, he didn't have a whole lot, a meagre pension and medication he didn't like. But then, I heard that infamous line...suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. When all else failed, it took my friend's death to wake me up. This was the guy who pulled me away when I tried to jump in front of a truck. It's the same guy who listened as I suffered pain from what is now an inoperable brain condition. But every time I examine myself, I notice someone else suffering more. Maybe I don't have the perfect life anymore, but I did have a great run, meeting famous people such as Muhammad Ali. He is suffering from Parkinson's Disease and is still fighting it. I find more joy now in fighting than giving up. Maybe you could re-channel your energies towards fighting against the forces which are driving you in the wrong direction. I'm not a doctor, not a therapist and have no social worker skills. But I find it very rewarding to know I was on the edge, but managed to pull myself back. I realize all the so-called "help agencies" don't offer much help, but this is time to draw on some inner strength. I'm far from living a perfect life. But I'm not giving up. Not just yet.

Well said Jeff! thank you!

Thank you for your story and your insight Jeff, it was very well said. I hope things continue to look better for you.

Blue your response to my mood tag made me smile.
And I'm glad to see your's says happy. That also made me smile.

I honestly don't know what makes me feel fine. I just kinda mysteriously feel less bad. There's a few things that I do to pass the time, but when I'm feeling sad or lonely they don't make me feel any better, they seem just as pointless as everything else.

The only thing that really helps is getting on NT and reading all the new stuff that's posted. I guess it's the closest thing I can get to actually hanging out with friends.

's for everybody.

L1 !!!!!! X 1,000,000

Well, then, everytime you start to feel sad, COME HERE before sadness invade you !!

Ive learnt for example, that when I start to feel sad or anxious, I listen to music... so, you come here ok ??

I leave you not only hugs, but kisses too !

Ah my FRIEND... I love, Love, LOVE the enthusiasm you show in your support ....

Dear L1... I seriously think you should write... you have a lot to tell ... and a lot people could learn from you....

Start with a journal... a blog... little pieces of paper...

a sticky note on your wall....

Addy