NeuroTalk Support Groups

NeuroTalk Support Groups (https://www.neurotalk.org/)
-   Survivors of Suicide (https://www.neurotalk.org/survivors-of-suicide/)
-   -   Please let it end (https://www.neurotalk.org/survivors-of-suicide/103360-please.html)

BlueMajo 11-18-2009 12:18 AM

Honey !!!

How i wish I had already a family... Im 27 now and I always dreamed that at age 25 I would be living in another country, with a lovely husband and at least 1 kid... :rolleyes: News: Im 27 as I said... I have NO kids and I have never, (yes NEVER) had a boyfriend... :(
That makes me sooooooooo sad... I feel like everybody around me is happy and living their lives and that Im not included... :(
Im ugly and consider myself "weird"... so, who would like to date me !? :(

The above was to let you know how much I understand you...

BUT, Im trying to learn I cant live the future, and I need to live day by day... You are 21... you will, Im sure, find somebody to love you... the right person... in the mean time you have to be... if not happy, normal... not sad... that is bad for your health...

Tell me, what do you get being sad ??? Anything right ?? So, why being sad ??? Im not one of those saying life is beautiful (Im trying to be one of those seriously), but at least, try not to feel sad... just fine if not happy...

:o

Smile cutie !!!!

Addy 11-18-2009 12:43 AM

Nope, nobody is supposed to be unhappy L1.
Seriously - if you don't love yourself, how can you expect others to love you.
It sounds like your mom, in spite of her issues, loves you... but what a heavy burden you carry... thinking you might be the cause of her relapse ... I'm so sorry you feel that way.

Surely there is free couselling where you are... I simply cannot understand a gov't that doesn't help its people.. and I'm so sorry that this seems to be happening more and more in your country and in mine :(

Reyn you are a generous soul... you give L1 hope... and show him that he does have choices.

L1.... maybe right now you're not ready to make a huge choice to move on in your life...

but please try to make one choice... and that's to take a baby step towards loving yourself.

Blue... oh Blue... you are not ugly or weird.. you're just you... sorting yourself out...

it ain't easy being a human
:sing: Addy

Addy 11-18-2009 12:44 AM

And by the way... FRIENDS are FAMILY, too!
:grouphug:

thelonely1 11-18-2009 01:26 PM

Oh dear sweet Blue, i don't think you're ugly and weird....I think I'm ugly and weird....but that's beside the point. :o

It looks like you got your wish....for today at least. I'm not happy or sad....just....normal.

But I don't love myself, how am I supposed to change that?

BlueMajo 11-18-2009 04:04 PM

Sweetie,

You and me need to work on how to love ourselves....

WAIT: First of all... you are feeling normal today !? YEEEIIIII !!!!!! :D

Ok now... if Im not ugly, you arent either... If Im not weird, you arent either... :D Deal !? :)

No, but I mean, is there anything that you "hate" about you ?? Me, for example, hate my acne... I need money to go to the doc and also, I need to low my cholesterol levels in order to be able to take the acne medicine... so, Im working on that... I mean, I hate several things about me, but Im starting with that...
What about you ??

XOXOXO :hug:

(((((Addy)))) Thanks for sharing with us your lovely and sweet soul.

thelonely1 11-18-2009 07:06 PM

I also have acne, and given a choice I would choose NOT to have it.....
But as far as things I hate about myself go, I have to choose my lack of interest in ANYTHING.

For the past.....ohhhh.....seven or eight years, I've had it drilled into my head by every adult I had ever talked to, that I MUST choose a career path, all I had to do is think about what interests me, and there will be a multitude of directions to go. Then I asked them, "What if nothing interests me?", and every one of them responded, "Everyone is intereted in something."

Well, as it turns out I am NOT interested in ANYTHING, and since no one belived I was telling the truth, no one helped me. When I got to college, I took a "Career Decision Making" class, where I took a career apptitude test, which was supposed to tell me all the career paths that might interest me. My test told me that I would not be interested in any career.

Needless to say, I failed that class.

"Lack of interest" is listed under the symptoms of depression, so maybe this is all just a figment of my imagination, but I long ago came to the conclusion that I would end up with a low paying job that I hate. This, incedently, is NOT the best way to plan for the future, and as a result I had no ambition to do well in school, and no desire to get an education.

Anyway, the main point of this is:
"One of the things I hate about myself is that I have no interest or ambition."
Sorry it took so long for me to say it. :o

reyn 11-18-2009 07:57 PM

L1, of course you can ask where you'd be moving and what type of work you'd be doing! I'm send you a note by PM to "fill-in-the-blanks."

I'm relieved to hear that you have family near to you. That's one more reason to hold on to Life.

You are loved!

BlueMajo 11-19-2009 02:16 AM

Wait a minute... Your tag says fine ???? Yessssss !!!! How cool is that ??? Awesome ! Thats the attitude cutie...

Ok now... If you hate the fact that you dont like anything WE have to work on that....

Now tell me... What gives you pleasure ? Again, im not asking for anything that makes you happy, tell me something that at least makes you feel fine...

Waiting for your response sweetie !!!

jeff179120 11-19-2009 05:39 AM

After brain surgery, hip surgery, a trip to a psychiatric hospital, the loss of my job and my divorce, I, too, felt like committing suicide. I used to go to our Canadian Mental Health for help, but they devote more time to creating jobs than solving problems. I didn't want to talk to anybody. Every time I did, I'd get a visit from the police who would send me to a hospital. So I suffered alone. Then, my best friend down the hall in this apartment complex, slashed his wrists and was found dead. I was devastated. I still think of him some two years later. Like me, he didn't have a whole lot, a meagre pension and medication he didn't like. But then, I heard that infamous line...suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. When all else failed, it took my friend's death to wake me up. This was the guy who pulled me away when I tried to jump in front of a truck. It's the same guy who listened as I suffered pain from what is now an inoperable brain condition. But every time I examine myself, I notice someone else suffering more. Maybe I don't have the perfect life anymore, but I did have a great run, meeting famous people such as Muhammad Ali. He is suffering from Parkinson's Disease and is still fighting it. I find more joy now in fighting than giving up. Maybe you could re-channel your energies towards fighting against the forces which are driving you in the wrong direction. I'm not a doctor, not a therapist and have no social worker skills. But I find it very rewarding to know I was on the edge, but managed to pull myself back. I realize all the so-called "help agencies" don't offer much help, but this is time to draw on some inner strength. I'm far from living a perfect life. But I'm not giving up. Not just yet.

Addy 11-19-2009 11:49 AM

Well said Jeff! thank you! :hug:


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:28 PM.

Powered by vBulletin • Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

vBulletin Optimisation provided by vB Optimise (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2025 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.