All I gotta say, Alffe, is that you hit the nail on the head!! I'm finally (almost) ready at the age of 35 to be a parent!

Ok, I just read it and I can totally identify with the expectations that are put on the child when the parents feel that they have failed. Also, I fear that I was overparented - just recently I have come to trust my own decisions and opinions. For the longest, I relied on others to make decisions for me and to tell me how I should feel. You're so right, Alffe, I need to let go and forgive...

Some of this could have to do with my diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder.

Katiebell..we all struggle with "something". Labels suck! I think you are doing great!!

I just want to understand why my mom told everyone so I can put it to rest in my own mind.

I can and do appreciate that you have lifted yourself up from addiction. I also feel for you that people are unappreciative of how far you have come. It reminded me of when I promised my mom i would quit my addiction if she would quit drinking. I broke my promise. Years later I had been clean for about 10 years but mom was drinking even heavier. after she died we found a liquor store in her things. Not the one glass of wine supply a day that was in her facade, but gallons and gallons of hard liquor. i later found out from one of her friends that she did not consider me capable of taking care of her in spite of how far i had come. instead of confiding her pride she only took with her the disappointment. i guess progress and overcoming odds is not viewed as accomplishment, but dang i am proud of you so don't you forget it. and cherish your mom anyway. you will probably miss her when she is gone like i do mine.