((((L1)))))

I have so much to say but so little time... there are those of us here who have years of wisdom having lived through a situation similiar to yours....

L1 - you (and I) are Adult Children of Alcoholics

I have to run or I'll be late for work.

L1 - start learning about ACOA! you'll learn a ton about yourself.

question - of you and your sibling(s), who is the oldest?

I only have one brother, and he is older then me.

Why do you ask?

L1

Info about acoa. I learned alot about myself! Sigh

http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/adult/a/aa073097.htm

L1, I'm so sorry to have taken space from what was supposed to be a new thread for you -- I talked on and on about my own problems. Sorry. In the past 4 hours my life has blown apart, and I can't help but wonder if I can be of any value to anyone. But, for you, I'm coming here to post to tell you that I am trying to come back here for you, if you need me. I don't know if I can help, but I will try. ((L1))

Reyn you don't need to feel bad, this thread doesn't have to be just for me. I like to listen to the people I care about. I want you to post your problems here; that's what this website is for isn't it?

And you do have value. Just by listening and trying to help me you've proven yourself as more important than anyone I've ever met in my life. You and everyone here are the only people who will listen to me; the only people who won't abandon me. Don't ever think you have ne value.

Hey L1 I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to post... I'm extremely busy right now.

I asked about birth order because there is a lot of literature about how the youngest child is affected by a Parent's drinking.

(((Jaded))) When I found the book, "The Dance of Anger" - I learned a lot more about myself, too. And after that... "Co-dependant No More".

L1 - those are seriously good books in helping you understand where you are today.

You have your youth L1 - I didn't learn a lot of what I know now until many years older than you are.... Participating in SOS... has played a huge role in my growth. I know it is for you, too, L1!

Reyn I know you need more than a hug... more than anything, I wish for you to have some peace in your heart when you go to bed at night... Stay Strong! xoxoox

Addy

Isn't it amazing that I could read the link Jaded left and think it was written about me. Isn't it funny that so many unrelated people can react in exactly the same way without knowing it?. And I wonder why it has to be the youngest that is affected the most.

Thank you Addy and Jaded for the suggestions

Addy ................oh my GOD!,,,,,,,,,,'I asked about birth order because there is a lot of literature about how the youngest child is affected by a Parent's drinking'.

im the youngest of 9 and my father was an alcoholic......and you guessed it...i drink too.


Now not meaning to scoff at all...........but heriditary addiction is/may be a faCTOr but personal choice plays a huge part in this equation..........

my point being ...i once blamed my genes....now i blame my own weakness.

LOVE TO U ALL

David

(L1) Your mom is drinking because she has a problem not because you are a problem to her. Don't ever let yourself believe that! I'm so glad that Addy and jaded posted the info about acoa -- I'm going there later to read. Science has proved that addictive behaviors can be hereditary, similar to depression and suicidal behavior. I acknowledge that I have an alcohol problem on top of the drug (pain pills) problem. Anything to escape my reality seems wonderful to me, but I have a history of chemical abuse and addiction, so I know that drinking--for me--is not a good thing.

My mother's mother died by suicide which my mother never was able to get past. My mother let me know at an early age that I did not please her.`I have wondered if she saw something of her mother in me or if it was just because I was so different from her. My first visit to a psychiatrist was when I was in the 7th or 8th grade. My father explained later to me that the doctor told him the problem was between my mother and me. Maybe that is why he always welcomed me home, whether for a weekend or weeks-on-end. I never stopped trying to please my mother but eventually reached an acceptance of what I could not change (thanks to Alffe's patient listening to me and her wisdom that she shared).

Thinking of you and believing in you (L1)!

from my *heart,
reyn

P.S. I'm the youngest of 4, but I never had the "baby of the family" roll -- that went to my sister, baby #3

David, I do believe as you do. But understanding can lead to seeking help or maybe even a resolution of the problem. I see my doctor, get my prescription, swallow my pills. I pour my wine and drink it. There is no force from another person for me to take the pain pills or drink, but I do. It will take medical intervention for me to get off of the medication and choice for me to stop drinking.

Thank you for what you wrote. It is important to understand choice as well as responsibility.