I had a panic attack that hit me suddenly late last night. It was the type that turns your insides cold. I then had a strong desire to kill myself,and that things where not going to change. After a couple of hours it eased up,and I was able to sleep. Deep fear definately alters the frame of mind,and feels like I'm not going to get over this. My head felt like it was in a vice. BF

Broken Friend,

Each and every day I have tiny battles with myself and constantly need to be reminding myself that I have things to be living for. Whether it be my cats, my writing, my family or my fiance. Make no mistake, I am happy in my life and love, but I am no stranger to urges.

I am here, and if you ever would like to vent, just talk, or need someone to talk you down, you know where to find me.

Litara

Oh Steve, so many of us know just how you feel. My brain injury left me with that terrible combo: severe depression and anxiety attacks. I find that my worst panics happen in the dead of night. I used to lie there and stew. I don't need to tell anybody how horrible that is.

Now, when it happens I get up immediately. For some reason, nothing is quite as bad with the lights on. I keep a bunch of things ready on the coffee table (a bit of candy, a crossword puzzle book, a photo album of my daughter, etc...)that either soothe me, distract me or remind me of my joys and responsibilities. This helps me. At the very least, it makes me like I'm fighting back - instead of just lying there taking it.

Steve, we know it's hard. I hope it helps to know that we're all pulling for you.

STRENGTH

I'm so sorry you had a rotten night like that.

I want to believe that in time there will be a solution... and i mean like a coping solution or a med solution. something so you won't have these nights, or they won't be as bad, or when things start to precipitate you will have found a way to slip out of the experience and into a better one.

I like Hockey's suggestions. I wonder if you have tried things like that?

Don't give up. Look for ways to cope. If you find something that helps even a little, work on it. It may take time, trials and practice at things.

I have thought of a few things maybe you could try when you get those horrible attacks:

Can you wake up your kitty cat and keep her/him on your lap? Or if you don't want to wake up your cat, can you just set the back of your hand up against the sleeping kitty's so you can feel the warmth and the fur... and focus on that and on your kitty as hard as you can.

Have you every tried hugging yourself physically (wrap arms around your own shoulders and squeeze or rub your shoulders up and down.)... it can be really comforting. i do that sometimes.

In general, i have found that the most successful ways of taming fear and anxiety however they manifest are by use of the sense of touch. tactile activities and sensations somehow seem to be able to bring me back and impart a sense of safety in me, better than other activities - visual or auditory or whatever.

music, for instance, can turn on a flood of emotions. So if i'm already in any kind of sensitized state, it can augment whatever i am experiencing. It depends though. If i had to pick something to listen to in a fear attack, i think possibly Chariots of Fire might be really good. It is soothing overall, pretty mellow, but also definitely rhythmic, and powerful. (hmmmmm... too bad i have it on tape but not on CD and i don't have tape player any more! )

what i am saying is by no means meant to be universal. i just hope to give you some food for thought, things to try, and see if they help you. if they don't, try other things. discover Steve and what Steve responds to best.

Sending you lots of hugs and strength to get through these difficult days.

~ waves ~

(((((Steve))))
Hockey and waves posted some good ways to distract yourself and ways to fight off the dark feelings.
I cant add much . I used to play head games and go threw the alphabet with girls names then boys names or different types of trees or whatever . sometimes id put my feet in cold water then hot water back-n-forth to distract myself from the pain I was in..kinda confuses the brain a bit to be forced to concentrate on the cold then hot. but that was for pain not panic .
I cant add much but I do have a hug for you and want you to know your in my thoughts and prayers. Sending comnfort courage and PEACE AND LOTS OF NIGHTS WHERE YOUR RELAXED ENOUGH TO SLEEP SOUNDLY!!!!!!!


BMW

Thanks Waves,

I really like the music idea. I'm goint to make sure I add my MP3 player to my panic kit and maybe have a favourite movie cued up to go in the DVD player.

I'm lucky that my Border Collies wake the moment I stir and keep me company until they can herd me back to bed.

I've never tried hugging myself - but I'm willing to give anything a fair shake. I do press on the anxiety points in my ears. When I'm in a really bad patch, I have those three day accupuncture needles put in.

Any strategy that gives me a sense of control over my situation seems to help a bit.

Cheers

Praying for you Bf.

I thank you all for the ideas,and the thoughts that you all put in your messages to help me through this sudden emotional storm. I'm starting to feel better. Thank you so much. You all are so kind. BF

Wishing you a peaceful night, Steve.

Thank you Hockey. I hope that you have a peaceful night also. BF