Hi Tina!! Thanks for your very nice message, I am still getting used to being back here. Its really been probably 10 years since I first found some of these very nice people, right after my mom passed and things were very tough for me, they definitely helped me push through... some of those that aren't around anymore or aren't here to thank but i will never forget. they all were my support system who knew the real me for years and years.

life is peculiar in ways. sometimes i used to believe that everyone had issues, no ones life could be perfect. i even used to question my best friend at the time who seemed to have such a great cookie-cutter life about what really happened behind closed doors- but she promised me and swore that her life was as it seemed. So in ways, if karma does exist, perhaps it is as you explain it... where everyones time will come, for the good and the bad and maybe it balances out in the end anyways? we can only hope. but truly, *sigh some people, its just SO rough its practically impossible for anyone else to compare but i guess thats just how it is. And about your friend, like you said, you cant make things go away, but being there and being supportive is the best you can do for her and is very, very important!

And about the spiritual/religious stuff, I have a "feeling" that makes me spiritual in ways and very connected to that side of things but the unfairness of it all, i guess has left me despirited in ways too. Its very hard to explain, i suppose, at times of stress I like to think about my mom and what she would do... sometimes i wear a locket necklace that she gave me to help give me strength, sometimes i talk out loud or think about what she would do, sometimes i cry because i wish she was still around to help me out.... but while i feel like she is far away because it was soo very long ago, she is something that is a part of me, in a way too, that never goes away. Hope that explains it a little better. Don't worry about asking me questions I've changed alot over the years, so those that knew me before only knew the teenager side of me and that me is long gone!

I think we would have been pretty good friends as teenagers..tho i didnt have but one friend back them lol.. to odd and an outcast (a suicidal out cast ) that didnt fit in to the norm..but water under the bridge and a big girl now lol
Now we are both here and I think your full of fight and wisdom..I admire that. I know by you sharing your lend strength and courage to others too.
I am so Glad your here !!!
PEACE
BMW