(((Reyn))) I think a lot of us understand the not answering phone calls...not responding to anyone, period. Staying inside and hiding from the world, and sitting on hands.

Lots of love and hugs coming your way.

Reyn, I have not had the great pleasure of meeting you since I am new to this forum, but your post described many issues that I am struggling with now too. Sometimes I would really love to just rip my phone off the wall and barricade all the doors. Then my grandson smiles at me and just last week he whispered in my ear, "Nana i love you with all my heart", and gave me the strength to go on another week.

Another thing that I guess I would like to tell you is that it is OK to ask for help with the things that we cannot cope with on our own. I am scared to death of the many pain drugs that I am on, and know that I am addicted to them. The professionals that help me re-assure me that help will be there if there ever comes a time when I no longer need them, but that time is not right now.

So, I guess I just wanted to let you know that there are reasons for a tomorrow and that it is OK to ask for help when you need it. My prayers tonight are for you and I hope to learn more about you in the very near future. Lisa

ADDICTION is such a nasty word. When someone takes pain medication as prescribed for a VALID reason they do become physically dependent on those medications.

I hate the word addicted, it has negitive meaning. You think of a drug addict down and out on the streets looking for his next fix.

I am dependent on my pain medication. Without it I cannot function.....I take it as prescribed, I do not run out, I do not get high when I take it. I am able to work, I am able to clean my house, I am able to enjoy my grandaughter. It gives me a reasonable quality of life that we all deserve.

Several times over the years I have decided to take a "break" and weaned myself off the medication. It lasts for sometime before the pain and loss of will to live forces me back to them.

I write this in hopes that people that NEED these meds forgive themselves and understand many of us need these meds much like a diabetic needs insulin. Living in constant pain is horrific and in many cases can and does lead to suicidal thoughts and actions.

Love to you all

reyn - in ways, the words fail me because seeing you here and hearing from you is so very bittersweet. i often wondered if we'd ever get in touch again after all these years. but unfortunately it sounds like you are still struggling with all these demons and like alffie stated perfectly, i believe in you and your courage because you've made it this far already.

Wish, I'll bet reyn would love to hear your wonderful news.

((Reyn))

Did you come back and I missed it?

I miss you too. And I hope this finds you doing better.