Good you can talk about it so openly, Blue. That's a huge plus.


You hold on there and heck, before you know it, you will be feeling stronger again.

Try not to hate everybody and try not to hate yourself.

This might sound nuts but, if you have a garden go out there and dig up some earth. It can be very healing. Plant some life out in that earth. Nurture it. It will nurture you. If you don't have room for a garden there at home, then get some pots in and do the same. Just something I find very healing. Getting some dirt on my hands tends to level me out like nothing else.



Love thyself.

Koala, thank you so much for the hugs... they feel so good and mean a lot ! Thank you because it was wonderful the other day when I found your facebook post

Lara, I have missed you lots !! Thank you for your post !! I loved your idea... I love plants and animals, and your post made me remember that !!
I have some cacti to feed !! I have forgot about them !!

Im looking forward to start volunteering in a hospital ! Please pray for me so I can be accepted !!! I need to see people, beautiful people like you !!! and it is my dream to talk with daily fighters like cancer patients...

Thank you very much to all of you reading and hitting the "thanks" botton, it means a lot too. Thanks for caring !

Love for you all !

I volunteered in a hospital a number of years ago. They loved me,and it was a good experience. I would go into the Chapel and pray sometimes.

I believe that they will love you too. BF

Hopefully dear BF !!! hopefully !!!

I dont think there is much I can share or teach to people.... but I can always read them some books and... I think I have thousands things to learn from them.

Here's hoping you get accepted for the volunteer work, Majo!

it sounds wonderful...

and, btw, no matter how much mess you made, much better to hurt material things than yourself... sure, you still need to understand the anger, but you made progress in terms of what you are doing with the anger, imho. doing stuff to things (throwing, hitting, whatever) etc is more of a letting out, than putting it back into yourself.... one step at a time... and it is a good letting out already, because it is not taken out on other people or living beings... not causing more hurt.

love

~ waves ~

One day I was so angry,I took a pillow,maybe two,and screamed into it a number of times. The pillows muffled the sounds. I felt better.

These illnesses can cause anger,and rage. Please,please don't harm yourself when anger,or rage happens. I also found a piece of old furniture,and threw one of my tennis shoes at it. I felt relief.

Time will also settle things down after that. This helped me,but it might not help everyone.

God bless your heart Blue. I understand all the emotions that can hit us at one time. It sometimes makes us think of suicide. I know all of this hurts. Please don't hurt yourself. You are a beautiful person. You need encouragement in these times. After you have done everything that you can do,please take a deep breath,survive,and be patient. This to shall pass. BF

Hey Blue:

If you really want to put some smiles in some faces, go into any nursing home. There are older people who are just sitting there waiting for someone to talk to,

I remember my first experience at a nursing home. I had flown out to see my parents who were sharing a room in a nursing home, It was a rehabilitation kind of nursing home. This is where I learned about Granny Dumping. I bet you have never heard of that term right??

It seems that when folks can no longer take care of an elderly dementia relative, they simply cross the state line and drop them off at a nursing home. During my visit I saw many people who were just dumped.

But the really good part of my visit was when I put makeup and jewelry on my mother. You should have seen her face light up when, after the makeover, I wheeled her all over the place and she was beaming, When I saw the looks on the other ladies, I simply said "Who wants a makeover today??"

Well by the time I left Florida to come home, I didn't have any make-up left and I gave someone my anti-aging serum because she liked how it made her wrinkles go away. I have visited several nursing homes since then, always remembering to bring little perfumes, little lipsticks, etc.

And whenever I visit, I always remember to compliment them on their appearance.

It's so little to do, yet it has such rewards.

Melody

Hello very dear all

Thank you so much for your very sweet and wise words. They always help so much.

Hey waves ! yeah, Im learning.... I used to hit my head and cut my arms... but this last time I just broke several things.... but, material things that dont suffer

Aw Broken friend.... it is so hard huh ? like, somedays I can actually appreciate life and, the next day, I really hate everything, feel fear, anger... ugh... if only I could control myself and, understand why, when and how !

Thanks for sharing all that Melody ! I would like to share smiles with people you know ?? I bet they need to talk to somebody as much as I do !!!

I went to my general doc... He tested my glucose levels and those things and everything was normal... at least I know it is not something new what caused my anger... hum...

Tomorrow I have an oral presentation of my project, so please if you have some time, pray for me... I have been dealing with some mental fog and, Im worried it can bother me tomorrow !!!

Thank you very much for everything you do for me !!

Thinking about you today Blue as you present your orals. Sending you positive thoughts.

You get up there, make your presentation and knock them off of their feet. Then go and do something nice for yourself.

Best of luck on your project.

Take care, Melody