Aww Blue.... I was about to hit the thanks button so you knew I'd read your post when I was taken aback!

I re-read and saw that you'd written that you don't want to live anymore!

P-l-e-a-s-e DO NOT think like that.

Haven't we already told you how much we care? I do, and I know others do too.

Is there anything we can do to help..... anything at all?

Please talk to us!

Hi.

I'd just like to add my thoughts today. I believe in getting one's priorities straight. To me, having a roof over my head (especially at my age), is the MOST important thing in my life. Everything else comes second.

The fact that I can put a key into the door, look around at my nice clean apartment that I share with my husband, take off my shoes, pad around on my nice tile floor in my white socks, see that I can turn on my tv and watch any show I want (because I tape everything on my VCR and yes it still works), then I can walk into my kitchen and see what I am growing on my shelves, (that feeds the two of us), see that I have food in the fridge, that I woke up that morning and my heart beat and my lungs inhaled fresh air....

Well, to me, this is more important than any other thing. Anything else I can replace, material stuff is material stuff, but the fact that I have a place to live (and I keep it clean), and food to eat, that I either am able to grow or walk to my neighborhood supermarket and purchase, well to me, this is ALL a blessing. I think of others who not so furtunate. They do NOT have a place to reside. They bottomed out and now are sitting in the street somewhere.

Right now, I am NOT one of those unfortunate people. See, I am a look at the glass as half full kind of person.

I am not the type who says "the world sucks, there is SO much bad stuff going on in the world, oh it's not worth getting up in the morning, there are so many bad people, etc. etc." Well, that is not me.

The fact that I have a place to live, food to eat, air to breathe, clothes on my back and my husband and I have a good marriage, THAT'S ENOUGH FOR ME.

Anything else that happens is a BONUS!!!

I couldn't care less about other stuff that I might not have.

Took me many years to get to this place in my head. I've had my losses just like everyone else. But, to be able to be grateful to wake up and put my hand over my heart and feel that it's beating. To begin my day!!!

THAT'S ENOUGH FOR ME.

I'll say it again, anything else that happens is a BONUS!!!

Melody

Hey Bluemajo...

I know my title sucks in response to your message, and the only tip that I can give you is....YOU. If drugs work to help you...great...but suffering with Bipolar for the last 16 years I really do feel your pain, I understand completely..and those 'normal ppl' around us that try to help never can get what its like....I really hope that you can start scraping with your nails out of the hole that you have fallen into....I have tried several times to shuffle off this mortal coil. Not that it matters but I am suffering deeply at the moment and all I can is rely on myself...I know have a pacemaker otherwise I die...IRONIC ISNT IT? I wish to god that I never signed that consent form...but obviously I am here for some stupid reason....I wish I could take your pain away...but you know deep down that you and only you can be the strength between staying and going....all the best

Oooh who are you going to see???? Have a wonderful time!!!!

Im going to see 2 bands actually.... One Republic (LOVE THEM ! ) and Maroon 5... !!!!!

Im excited but veeeeeeeeeery nervous !!! Have never been to Dallas, and, of course Im scared my health problems can ruin everything....

Hopefully I will survive.... Will try to report back when I get to my hotel !

Love ya so much !!!!!!!!!!

Well said! There is a new book coming out by Margaret Trudeau and it is on my list... "Changing My Mind".... I've always admired this woman (she used to be what American's call our "first lady" - she was married to our prime minister and the mother of 3 sons (one who died in a tragic avalanche)... and bipolar...
I always admire public figures for telling their story.
Makes me realize I'm not alone!

(((hugs))) to bipola...

I hope you have a good time at your concert Blue!

Hi honey!

I can COMPLETELY relate and have even have said the exact same things to my spouse and other family members. If it weren't for Devon, I really don't know what I would do. My health has gotten even worse. I hurt all of the time. I can no longer walk without aid.I have cushings. My bones keep breaking. It just plain sux.Yet I keep hanging in there - why? B/c I know at some point it HAS to get better! I have to believe that!

For whatever reason we were put here and I'd love to stick around and find out why that is.

I know you feel all alone in this. Why? B/c I do as well. But look at all of the people who really love you and want to help. They really, truly love you for YOU!

Is it right or fair that you are suffering? Heck no! You are a wonderful caring person who worries too much about others and not enough about YOU!

I think it would be GREAT to volunteer and be around others. You will bring them so much joy - you are great at that - and in turn, THEY will bring you joy like you've never known.God a way of working everything out. He always does.

I will do some serious praying for you and am sending you biig hugs from SA!

Love,
Erin

Dear Bipola, hang in there.... you and me have to ok ?? Listen the wise advices of our friends here.... it's gonna get better


ERIN !!! sweetheart !!!! thank you so much for your post.... you know I love you right ?? You are an amazing friend and I keep you always in my thoughts and prayers.... You have to be right, it's gonna get better !!!


--------------------------

So !!! Im in Dallas....

I have to share this with you.... let me tell you Im gonna rant, in case you dont want to read.... LOL

So, I had decided to take a taxi because the 2 buses + train + subway didnt sound precisly good for my health issues... So, I was looking for the taxi at the airport when I found this shared rides.... ha ! it was a great deal.... saved good money and it was confortable as a taxi

But here comes the dark part:
I arrived to my hotel (which is so, so by the way) and to be honest, the man at the front desk seemed hyperactive, like under cocaine.... you know they like to have this relaxed attitud.... whatever, I gave him my ID and he asked for my credit card... My credit card is a mess because that silly bank likes to block the money and then the card doesnt go thru... anyways, I asked him if he could use my debit card.... (which I was going to use to pay anyways) and he said yes.... He took my card to another room (I dont know why to be honest !) and he came back saying it hasnt worked... so, I gave him the credit card one, and said that once again, it hasnt worked.... I was terrified because I was thinkin why the helll ?? There was money there... So, I asked him if I could pay with cash.... and if there was an ATM near.... thank God there was one right in the looby.... so, I went and without any trouble, I got the money from my debit card.... So, my card works right ! I came back to him, and he was like: How can I help ? I felt like telling him, "in 5 minutes you forgot you couldnt gave me a room cos you couldnt charge my card ?" I gave him the bunch of bills and it took him a while to process my room... !"#$%&/()==? !!!!
Personally, I hate banks, cards, etc.... when the system doesnt fail, the card is blocked, when the card is not blocked, the hotel doesnt accept MY card... I mean, I get it, technology has problems, BUT ! what I hate, is the attitude of the people !!! He looked at me like thinking I was a robber or something !!! He said he was not going to give me a room,.... etc.... ugh... pathetic !!! That's what a person like me needed....

Thanks for listening !!!

know just how you feel. I took a baseball bat to the side of my house yesterday to vent my 'I hate everybody and everything starting with myself' feelings. Worked a little. Hope you're feeling better