Hi, 310 Girl:

I have been fighting this monster of full body RSD for more than ten years. It is not easy everyday. There are good and there are bad days. I had no support with my family and with my coworkers, so I wanted to die. I thought no one would miss me and everyone would think "good riddance" when I die. Then I remembered my two-year-old baby boy, my police officer boyfriend, and my cat, who I love dearly and who love me dearly also. Besides that, I remembered all the kind and loving people on this forum and other forums. I want to live for all the love all these people gave me.

For your physical pain, you need (I know it is not easy) to find a doctor who will be willing to work with you to find the best combination of medications to help you. Nowadays, there are so many medications that can control the pain of RSD. Hopefully, at least one will be effective for you.

Remember you have parents and friends that love you. You also have the people of this board and other forums to help you and love you. Like you, I still feel suicidal at times, but I push these thoughts away. I think : "I am not going to let this monster of RSD win. I am going to win. I am in control, not this monster." When people tell me I am stronger than I think and that RSD does not deserve that I die for it, it gives me more will to live. I sincerely hope the same will happen with you.

I have chronic, generalized, internal RSD, which means I will live with it for the rest of my life. However, it does not mean RSD has to win. I am determined to fight very hard to win. I believe that someday, scientists will find a cure. You are still young; you could benefit from it. A lot of research is being done by good and qualified doctors. Keep up hope!