Waves ---- I promise you that a crown is OK. Oh, it cost as much as a small car , but it doesn't hurt and it's pretty easy to do.
I know because every tooth in my mouth except the lower front four are crowned .... except where the teeth are gone and it's bridged.

Wren- I like that! How wondrous the notion that trying with a bit of umph can produce success....... kind of like WAVES writing of grabbing Addy to head to the beach. I know it is in the reaching out to assist another I leave behind some of the pain, some of the dark pit feeling, some of that hopelessness which summons one to the brink.

Today, I was meeting with a young lady who SO needs employment and is looking to find that means somewhere to rebuild her life despite this economy, the rejection of lay off, the dread of going home wondering how to pay the bills. A sense of worthlessness had built inside her.... then she started attending a group of jobseekers I had started in our church [then expanded to the whole of Golden, CO] where we who seek could take advantage of that Daisychain of which David writes so eloquently. I started that particular chain because I needed to reachout in outreach so as to take the focus off of Mark and recognize in the giving there is growth, an overflowing well of appreciation from others, and the knowing of the taste of success every time one of those who were without achieve the new job. My remaining lady has GROWN so MUCH, and there is cheer in her eyes, sturdiness to her words, an endearing grasp of the desire herself to be of help to others. Wow! We were rehearsing a difficult interview with an interviewer who presented as though with blinders [Me] and she blew me away with her confidence.

Waves, I have most assuredly been where you are, as David and Alffe know. It is a hard walk to feel empty and tremor with thoughts of uselessness, thinking I might better serve others by my departure from life. I approached the pit. Faith held me back. Prayers of others held me back. And, oh yes, I tend to talk to God as though I am in God's presence, a friend having a conversation with another..... in my mind there is no recipe. Just lean when you need to lean, allow yourself to be carried if that becomes necessary, and look around to see whether there is someone who may need Your help, for in the giving you depart from emptiness and a fullness of joy overcomes you.
Anyway, it surely has for me.

This last weekend my wife and I drove a long distance so we could attend and I could sing at the double funeral of friends of mine from my former work. They had been vacationing and were returning home, a mistake on the road turning into a single car accident. So many tears were shed for those who in the blink of an eye went away. I wanted to reach out to help, and offered to sing. What a blessing it was to meet the gathered family, participate with the grieving uncle who spoke as pastor at his niece's memorial and, standing there in a beautiful memorial setting under the bright sun to lift up my voice and sing, trying to bring words of comfort to those who so grieve. Reaching out in outreach. It has saved me, and is one of my daily efforts to bring a smile to the face of another.

The following words describe where I was and the means by which I emerged in hope:

Out of Darkness, Hope
M Ridder
20100801

In the deep of my heart
a place filled with pain
a place, oh, so lonely,
may I reach out again?
To languish alone there
the light very dim
it seemed all steps forward
were aching and grim.
So easy the choice
could have been to remain
awash in self pity
alone still again.
Yet God in His great love
remained by my side.
He captured the sense
of this innermost plight.
The touch of His hand
burning clear to my soul;
redemption, salvation
shone light in this hole.
His fingers He wrapped
firmly ‘round pain filled heart
and cradled me near Him,
His sacrifice hard,
yet given His love,
price He paid there for me,
through darkness He reached
and with Hope set me free.


So, Waves, know this, that you are added to my list of those for whom I pray, in hope that you, too will find the freedom of hope in outreach to others.

Caring,
Mark56z

wow oh wow! Mark, you often make me cry!! Good tears, cleansing tears and you remind me that I miss having a church to go to..you remind me that I don't need an actual church to go to...HE is always there and knows my heart.

~waves~

Oh how I do understand Alffe, there is far more to the God relationship in a personal way that religion can muddle. Community in worship is a good way for kindred spirits to connect and touch base, but God speaks directly to the heart, to the person.

Gratefully,
Mark56

"muddle".....very diplomatic of you. Thank you for "getting it".

I didn't mean to hijack your thread waves...how are you today?

Dear Wren

thank you so much for the reassurrance about the crown. now just to choose...would i rather a car or a crown? (crown, if it's made of jewels and i can sell for a real nice car or an itty bitty apartment?) jk. it's in my bones. i guess that is a good sign if i can joke even though i can't make myself laugh.

Dear Mark

what a beautiful post... and poem. i find myself at a loss for words when usually i am quite loquacious, indeed verbose. if you remember past posts of mine, you will know. my faith is eclectic and shaky. so relationship with the divine... quavers. often though i do pray, and even in conventional ways. Steve helped me too with some Bible verses. you remind me i should go read those again. my greatest channel to God comes through nature but i feel isolated from it. maybe pictures can help. oh the sheer irony of using technology to channel to nature to channel to divinity. i find it hard to go out lately. i find it overstimulating. i even have to keep the windows shut to outside noises. when i do have to go out, i just try to be nice to people, especially service people that often have to deal with mean customers. that is the best i can do right now. is try to make their day nicer, or at least, less hard.

there i have managed to be verbose.

Dear Alffe,

np, no hijacking perceived here. i just have had a hard time today. i have a rock in my stomach. right now i feel tears but cannot cry.

i took my meds and will go to sleep soon maybe. not sure. i am tense.

And to those who have read... for i also see some 'thanks' where folks have not posted... thank YOU ALL for reading, too. everyone here is keeping me afloat right now. thank you.



~ waves ~

Waves (I'm a dental expert due to experience) lots of crowns are made of gold with some white porcelain for looks. When a good dentist removes one of these he offers it to you - it's yours - you paid for it.

Teeth are oh, so important but the way YOU FEEL is certainly the biggest thing. I hope you're feeling good --- I hope and pray you're SMILING.

waves, I'm sorry you are having a bad day...and you have a rock in your stomach...you didn't swallow those marbles did you? *whispers...not trying to make fun of your "rock"...trying to make you lol.

Please remember that you aren't alone with those feelings...we've all been there and they will pass.

Tears that Cannot Fall
MRidder 20110924

I hurt and linger here
filled by pain without much cheer
and, oh, the thoughts which wrack my mind
make difficult those ventures among my kind
but when I gather up my strength to step
into the world needs which must be met
I strive a kindness to bring to all
because in me are tears that cannot fall.

You are engaging in outreach Waves with every kindness you deliver to those who serve you. The way in which I have further brightened their day when they greet me is to say "I am blessed, thank you, how are you?" Ever farther, this simple greeting causes me to reflect on the blessings I have, even though it may be the simple ability to "get out." You, too, have this opportunity to initiate ever kinder reactions from those around you, thus increasing your blessings.

Prayin for ya, Waves,
Mark56zz