Mark, you quiet a way with words..... thank you

Hi Waves

uck I so know that rock in the stomache and the inability to engage the world and people in it. (((Waves))))

Oh, BTW I'm Free Kittens, another daisy in the chain.

Dear Mark

that was a beautiful poem.

i do what i can in my interactions with people. where i live, there is a delicate balance between a smile, a kind look, and even action... helping someone to keep working efficiently, and going overboard. one can't hang and talk to cashiers when there are 30 customers with full carts waiting, grumbling, each ready to lynch the cashier and anyone slowing the checkout, let alone by distracting the cashier with frivolous conversation. a cashier herself will start to tune you out like a batty old lady if you do that too.

asking ANY stranger "how are you" in this culture would be considered invasive and inappropriate and would not bring blessings from them i assure you, LOL. but i hear the general message. in that sense, i do the best i can. engaging people can be hugely difficult for me in this state. forcing myself would be the ticket to a meltdown, then, or soon after.

and sometimes things backfire too.

for instance, sometimes i pay compliments to strangers (clothing, accessories, a pet.) sometimes they are well taken. other people take you for a weirdo and walk away but that tends to happen more when i am manic and i'm guessing kinda gush. but the other day i quietly complimented a young woman standing next to my seat, on a her tshirt with a stylized cat design. she thanked me. i think, proably, that was where i should have stopped and looked away.

unfortunately i added that it was so original especially after seeing so many identical "hello kitty" designs everywhere. i was looking her in the face when speaking. i mean - i was not staring at the shirt fixedly or anything. still, within the next few seconds i noticed she brought her arm over which a long overcoat was hanging up to cover the design area (which included breast area). well the last thing i wanted was to make her feel uncomfortable but alas i think i succeeded in doing just that. i had made her feel self conscious, if not worse.

it is difficult to know when too much reaching out is going to be too much. or rather, you only know it's too much when you get such a reaction. another person might have been happy to engaged in a conversation about fashion trends, or cats, or whatever.

i do appreciate your support. and your poems.

waves

pleased to meet you (((Free Kittens))) and welcome to our daisy chain.

thank you for posting to me. i am sorry that you also suffer with these afflictions. i hope you will find comfort here at Neurotalk.

waves

Dear Waves-

You are so correct that in context, words offered by one from distant realms may be overwhelmingly incorrect. Out here in the midwest, the atmosphere is less tense, more open, a place in which even teh casual passer by will accept a kindness. My prior work and study has taken me to other cultures and study, as in SF and LA, CA; Chicago, IL; NY, yes the big apple; D.C.; Berlin, and Zurich where in the hustle and bustle kindness acknowledged in one culture would be invasive wholly appropriate where people want to be left alone and make that point A to B trip as swiftly as possible.

So, the poems, the thoughts are just that, possibilities which may, in appropriate circumstance, allow one to open the window just a crack. Light and freah air do refresh at times...

Caring for sure, and sorry those simple kindnesses you have attemtped did backfire,
Mark56

Dear Mark

I appreciate you.

waves