[Alffe]

When we bottle up our feelings caused by loss, it is the same as starting the timer of a time bomb. In the beginning, the bomb ticks softly. The ticks represent problems which are experienced by grievers who don't know how to successfully grieve. It's as if each one of these signs of trouble are ticks of the bomb progressively getting closer to exploding:

1. Sleeplessness - Please be honest with yourself and ask yourself if you're still experiencing sleep difficulty.

2. Periods of confusion - Over making even simple decisions. Things that before the loss would not have bewildered us at all are now unclear, painful, and confusing.

3. Things that aren't there - Many people still find themselves hearing a familiar sound and then going to look for the person who died. Many people still spend time talking to the person who died, setting a place for them at the dinner table, and so forth.

4. Behavioral disorders - Falling into the trap of taking prescription medication, consuming alcohol, or developing an eating disorder to dull the pain.

5.Fear - Of the future and fear of the past, as shown by second-guessing our decisions since the death.

6. Isolation -Many people find themselves emotionally withdrawn from the world. They have small outbursts of anger and can't understand why.
Through isolaton they move further into their protective shell, away from the very feelngs they must confront in order to recover.

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The Grief Recovery Handbook, A Step by Step program for Moving beyond Loss by John James and Frank Cherry, Co-Founders of The Grief Recovery Institute