I wonder if I can tell Lara that, no, I never get in the sun. Sunny days make me much more sad then rainy days, because on rainy days you're supposed to stay at home and do nothing, and on sunny days I'm the only person that does that.

I wonder that I don't go to the doctor about my headaches because there's very little chance of it being anything, and if I ask he doctor he would tell me the same thing... right before charging me 3 or 4 hundred dollars. Also I secretly hope it is something serious and don't want it treated.

I wonder about a phrase that people tend to use, "do what makes you happiest." I wonder because it doesn't tell you what to do if nothing makes you happy, and the thing that would make you happiest is the one thing everyone tells you you can never do no matter the circumstances.

I wonder if Lonely1 is a problem without a solution! Mr.Alffe likes to say that to me when I constantly have reasons not to try something he suggests when I am stress, stress, stressing about something.

Yes, I understand that you will think you not stressing, you are accepting, resigned. ~sigh

Does your family know you have headaches?

I wonder if I can join in on what Lara said. No sun, no vitamin D. And did you know, Lonely1, that a lack of vitamin D can cause depression. I've had so many professionals tell me that. And in fact, my doctor did a blood test screening for vitamin D and I was horribly low on it. He told me to start taking it every day.

I wonder if I can also agree that you, Lonely1, need to go to a doctor for help. And that headaches can make the depression much worse.

and I also wonder if I can tell Lonely1 that I too love rainy days. I too prefer rainy days over sunny days so go figure THAT one out. I think it's because it gives you good reason to stay inside...and not feel guilty about staying inside.

Oh well, who am I to be preaching at the choir. I've struggled with depression for as long as I can remember and I HATE it! I hate it so much that I go to doctors to help me keep it under control so that I can have good days.

I wonder that I always remind myself, when I get into deep depressive periods, that they will go away.

I also wonder that it's easier to slump on a couch at home than have to face leaving the house to go get help...because you know it won't be an immediate fix. But at least when you go for help, it gives you hope and direction.

I'm rambling. Love to the room.

I wonder if I can say I love rainy days more than I love sunny days... which might seem strange considering the wrath that rain has brought us here in recent years.

I wonder if I can tell Lonely1 that a walk in the rain is very invigorating. Probably not in winter like over there, but here the rain is warm. (unless it's hailing).

I wonder that I really can't think of anything I would love to do more than to go down to the beach on a wet and windy night and just listen, watch, smell and feel. Sadly I can't get there anymore. I so wish I could. To me rainy days mean planting cuttings in my garden or cooking or reading while I listen to Bob Dylan or Pink Floyd or Eric Clapton or Van Morrison WAY louder than usual. However, rainy days mean I can't really go down the driveway here because it's too slippery and dangerous to me. When I was young I loved danger. Whatever happened to me......

I also wonder if I can say I love reading your posts Doody when you're in MammaBear mode. Such strength. Love it. That's why you survive Doody. You're a fighter!

I love the way you talk Doody!

I wonder, if, Medicaid will *ever*, quit being so stupid and start paying
for *all* of the medical supplies, I need, monthly?!?

Phyllis

I wonder that yes, I am a problem with no solution.

I wonder that the headaches aren't that frequent, maybe a couple of times a month, and they're caused by pressure on the outside of my head, like when I'm leaning back against a pillow to read or watch TV or something. The only strange thing is why a pillow isn't soft enough to make it comfortable to lie down.

I wonder that doctors don't like me because I'm too self-aware. If something's wrong I usually know why, or at least know what isn't the cause. (They like telling you whats wrong not the other way around. And they hate it even more when you tell them their diagnosis is wrong, and will treat the mis-diagnosis just to spite you.)

I wonder that when I was about 5 years old I went to the doctor because I was having hallucinations of green dots flying across my field of vision. She gave me the brilliant diagnosis that I was probobly tired, and even as a five year old I thought that was a stupid idea. It's approching 20 years later now, and I still see that same hallucination when I close my eyes.

I wonder about doctors ignoring the hallucinations of children.

I wonder that my depression is more a symptom then a disease; it's there because I'm unhappy with my life. Turns out I don't really have a personality and every time someone tries to make even the smallest of small talk with me it's so awkward it actually hurts. People just don't understand that I REALLY HAVE NOTHING TO ADD TO ANY CONVERSATION.

I wonder if I should start my own thread if I want to talk about myself so much... but it's just easier to wonder.

I wonder that I'm sorry I'm a problem without a solution, but thank everyone for wondering about me anyway...

I wonder that Lonely1 has nothing to be sorry about...wait wait, you're sorry about everything...that's your "mo"....only one of the reasons why I find you so interesting and a "challenge". You are consistent if nothing else! Oh and stubborn, funny,....I'll think of more later.

I wonder if anyone here has had the norovirus....shutter! So violent, so contageous,

I wonder what I can take to my dying BBF when we visit this weekend...taking love and years of memories...I know there will be laughter and tears...but what can I take???

I wonder how thankful I am for having three wonderful daughters who support us...who forgive us our shortcomings.

I wonder how much I miss our Michael. We were so much alike.....

I wonder if I can help Alffe on what I might take...

I wonder if

1st... I can say...take your heart filled with love... I know it's going to hurt but your love with shine through.

2nd... nothing better than homemade cookies w/milk, coffee, or tea.

3rd... I know I would enjoy a small bouquet of brightly colored daisey's... you can usually find then at Wal-mart this time of year.

It's time to put my wonderer to bed...
Hugs to all,

Abbie

Cookies? Cookies!! I wonder if I can leave a recipe
Here's an especially great one

WHITE CHIP ISLAND COOKIES
375* - 3 doz - ungreased - 8-11 min.

1 2/3 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt

3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) butter or margarine, softened
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
1/3 cup granulated sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 large egg
2 cups (12-oz. pkg.) NESTLÉ Premier White Morsels
1 cup flaked coconut, toasted if desired
3/4 cup chopped macadamia nuts


PREHEAT oven to 375° F.
COMBINE flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt in small
bowl. Beat butter, brown sugar, granulated sugar and vanilla
extract in large mixer bowl until creamy. Beat in egg.
Gradually beat in flour mixture. Stir in morsels, coconut and nuts.

Drop by rounded tablespoon onto ungreased baking sheets.
BAKE for 8 to 11 minutes or until edges are lightly browned.
Cool on baking sheets for 2 minutes; remove to wire racks.