Hey...

Excuse me if Im using our forums to put my mind into words.... (If that even makes sense)

These days I have been feeling so insecure... weak in general.... mentally speaking...

Some of you already know I feel lonely... like, something, or someone is missing in my life.... I know I have myself, sometimes I really know I have God too, and my grandparents that are in Heaven... I even know I have my parents that are not perfect, but sometimes they try to understand me and help me... I have you.... I know it.... but, I feel like I miss a... partner ? or a friend here at my school.... ? A baby ?

I have been struggling because there is this guy I like, and, he is friendly with me, but nothing else.... nothing more... he is.... how to say.... famous ?so he knows a lot of people, girls that has nothing to do with me, that drink, that dance, you know, nice bodies an stuff... my opposites.... And, I have been feeling depressed because it is not the first time that this happens to me....

I really want to have a family BUT, I always "fall in love" with the wrong person.... guys that will NEVER look at me... at least not for something "big"...

When I say Im weak is, because I think this guy is different...smart and deep, but he is always surrounded by "empty" girls that keep telling me "nasty" things about him, like he is so superfluous etc and... I BELIEVE THEM.

Do you get my point ? I cant stay firm on what I think about people.... and it makes me anxious and sad....

I know my post is sounding so silly, but this has been the cause of my depression for a looooooooooooooooooong time....

I feel confused, my head hurts because Im thinking and thinking all the time about this and.... argh.

How I wish I could be a stone.

Just thank you for reading. I know Im annoying and cant stop talking !