Keep saying over and over.... this too shall pass..... I have felt like you do at times in my life. Pain, depression, loss of job, family, security. There is pain in every life. You have kids, you may not be what you were, but you can be happy again. Listen to "Sting" "Dylan" put some soul back into your life to draw upon. Distract yourself, pick out tiny things that are still good for you. Your life is worth fighting for. Take B12. Do tia chi, talk here. Do what ever you have to do to bring meaning and hope into your life. See the sister site of Neuro Talk. They have more people suffering with this kind of depression. There may be more people to respond to you. Sam. I felt like you do, I really did, I lost a daughter and a grandson. Life is worth living even with physical loss, and emotional loss. Get some good council, and know I will be here any time to talk to. I am not a professional. Just some older woman who has been through a few very difficult things. I go for council myself, and am glad I do. I take anti-depressants, see my doctor, and fight like crazy to keep stable. I am not saying it is easy. None of life is easy. Your children are worth the effort and so are you. I will be here. You can PM me anytime. Keep hope alive, know that one person cares what happens to you. Don't do it, it is a permant thing to a tempory issue. This can get better. ginnie

I don't want to leave a legacy of suicide behind me that is why I am trying desperately hard to get something back but I've been like this for nearly a year now and nothing has changed, I'm not prepared to live the next 20 30 years like this because I no longer have interests and hobbies or taking care of myself never mind anybody else this medication has just wiped my brain clean, there is silence and darkness when I'm alone in my head there is no brain activity at all, theyve done everything on me including ECT and I wish I had never woken up from the anaesthetic.

Please pray for me that's all I ask, that somehow a miracle takes place and God & Jesus decide to heal me of this destruction.

Amen

To anybody that reads this thread, please, don't worry about posting a reply I know how badly damaged I am to be able to respond to positive help I just don't have the brain tools anymore to be able to take on your advice, please just pray for me instead to somehow make a miraculous recovery.

Hi Sam,


Did u ever here the song sounds of silence ?--its exactly what your saying. I think all of us get stuck in are head and feel detached emotionally from people we love and not understood and we lose our pleasure for thing we once enjoyed. Your not alone is these feelings no matter what the cause maybe from --so know that for sure. I have/do feel like that at times for a longtime. I been thru alot medically cancer &neck fusion. It took me along time to feel not totally isolated and alone in my head --and truth at times-- I still do feel it often .Many of us on this board struggle from depression and isolation being it from pain and illness be it mental and physcial.Your not a cabbage patch in your brain ---because I can tell that you express and know yourself and your feelings-- more than you want to think you do--just based on your writing. Honestly --seek support and do research--- become your own advocate to fight to get better. If you dont like Docs u been seeing find another one until you feel comfortable with one ---- but part of getting better has to come from within you. I will say this as dark and things maybe there is light--just need to give it time. I also had sucide in my own family and it does nothing but cause alot of pain for then the rest of there lives. If your truly love your family and friends please dont even consider this a option --it destroys them for the rest of there lives you rob them from alot. Im pulling for you Sam and glad your on the board seeking support and express how you feel is a great step in helping yourself. Always wishing you all the best!!!!

[QUOTE=mg neck prob;993113]Hi Sam,


Did u ever here the song sounds of silence ?--its exactly what your saying. I think all of us get stuck in are head and feel detached emotionally from people we love and not understood and we lose our pleasure for thing we once enjoyed. Your not alone is these feelings no matter what the cause maybe from --so know that for sure. I have/do feel like that at times for a longtime. I been thru alot medically cancer &neck fusion. It took me along time to feel not totally isolated and alone in my head --and truth at times-- I still do feel it often .Many of us on this board struggle from depression and isolation being it from pain and illness be it mental and physcial.QUOTE]

I know what it feels like to feel that way when you get depressed, and I have suffered depression in the past but not on this occasion. My personality has been destroyed with medication they have just made things 100x worse, I never had depression or psychosis just self-harming and severe stress/negativity and they killed my brain with large doses of anti-d and psychotic drugs. **** there is absolutely no-one on this earth that feels like I do, why out of all the trillions of people in the world do my children have been robbed of their mother because I just can't be who I used to be unless I get a miracle that's why I'm asking anyone who reads this thread to please just pray to God & Jesus for me for a healing miracle. Thank you so much.

I have just seen my Doc who refuses to accept that medication could damage me that much, he just wants to keep on with medication which does nothing now anyway.

PLEASE PRAY FOR ME, SAMANTHA MATTON, TO BE HEALED OF THIS CATASTROPHIC BRAIN DAMAGE THAT HAS DESTROYED MY FAMILY AND IS YET TO FURTHER STILL UNLESS A MIRACLE TAKES PLACE. IM IN LIVING HELL STUCK WITHIN A HOSPITAL WITH NO QUALITY OF LIFE DUE TO MEDICATION I HAVE LOST EVERYTHING AND I CANT GET IT BACK.

YOUR PRAYER ON MY BEHALF
WILL MEAN MORE TO ME THAN ANY ADVICE OR REPLY
THANK YOU SO MUCH

SAMANTHA -- I'm praying for you.

Are there any family members that will advocate for you to get better care?
Maybe some sort of alternative therapy, detox, homeopathy, acupuncture?

I was on an maoi and I drank dark beer with it and had hypertensive crisis would have survived that but then animal doctor gave oxycodone and subutex together and destroyed my mind and body have attempted suicide and wish I was successful on vitamin regimen.

You are prayed for right this very minute. I do have a prayer list. I also have several guardian angels I send out on missions. My mother told me I had extra, because i was so hard on them. I am sending you one to keep you company. May peace and love fill your heart, and take the place of pain.
Is there anyway you can seek another doctor willing to listen to you? If the medication is doing such damage, maybe you should think about doing this. I care. ginnie