Last evening, after much acting out,
attempting to manipulate and not meeting success,
failing to submit fully to the psych helps provided,
both recently and over years in times past,
our youngest son, a father himself,
attempted to leave this life,
perhaps in this,
the effort to manipulate,
he managed to succeed well and truly,
for it earned him close and careful watchcare
in the arms of the military hospital which is staffed
fully for treating those who, having tasted time in theatre
have returned home damaged of the soul,
incapable of managing personal affairs well at all,
seeming not to care one whit for the wife and child who
have lent their hearts to our child for safekeeping,
thus, in this time, perhaps he will have and receive
deep and enduring care for his psyche
heal even just his spirit,
if not of his family whom he has placed in emotional harms way,
then of the self, the blessed self which
being brought into this world
and blessed
was and remains so fully capable
to be and deliver blessings to others, that is,
should he be willing
not to live just
FOR SELF
but
for
others,
those whom he pledged endearing love,
the one who bears his visage as a toddler
the lady who, being home and hearth for him and his son,
deserves more than brokenness unhealed.

Pray with me for the family of my child
for my child
for his wife
for my grandson
that in this and through this
blessings may pour forth,
my vision is blurred by the tears which fill my eyes
and my heart feels so heavy
not knowing what to do
but
pray
and yield this up to the Lord
for our son is receiving
care both medical
and
of the psyche
as I hope
may bring healing and joy.

Amen?

Sending prayers for you and yours!
z

(((Mark)))

I'm so saddened to read your post tonight, Mark. He is alive and in the care of professionals who must now help him deal with the unbearable pain that he must have been enduring for so long. I am the child of a man who came home from war broken. It has been my legacy. Men and women come home broken. It's absolutely shocking and tragic and sad and not fair but it's not him. You son is still your son. A good man dealing with a terrible burden due to his experiences. He will recover and he will love himself again. You have to believe it.

My thoughts are with you all.

Lara is right, your son is still your son even though he can't see it right now. I pray that she is right in thinking that he will recover and love himself again. When you are in that black hole you cannot think! You do not, cannot consider your loved ones, you want the pain to end. I know I don't need to talk to you about pain Mark...you know it all too well. I think your remarkable faith in God enables you to live thru the misery.

I am sure that our Michael never considered what his act would do to those of us left behind. His now adult son told me that his father was a selfish coward. ~sigh Our grown grandsons way of dealing with it is NOT talking about suicide...he said that "works for him".

Talking about it heals us! Your dear son needs to talk and talk about his feelings. And someone needs to LISTEN!

I am so sorry you all are having to go through this nightmare. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Mark - I'm praying for you and your son ... your whole family.

sending prayers your way Mark. {{{HUGS}}}}