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10-17-2014, 10:04 AM | #21 | |||
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Young Senior Elder Member
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I truly understand all those emotions you are going through eva. I had a long journey through them myself until I finally reached acceptance. I didn't like it, didn't want to end there but it is, what it is. Guilt didn't work, didn't change the facts, anger didn't help me understand those "choices"
You are NOT responsible for her bad choices. We human beings would rather blame ourselves for tragic occurences than admit that we are unable to prevent them from happening. It is that old accept the things we cannot change thing.
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10-17-2014, 11:47 AM | #22 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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and you know i know it
it is just my make up taking care of one thing or another i also do understand the it is what it is i am very careful what i ask for then the mother factor wanting to protect yet fully understand i control no one but myself and what i say to be impeccable with our words living with the fear every time the phone rings is not living in fact i become more isolated as i deal with out of sight out of mind and even that takes seemingly forever my mind my mind needs a shut off switch i am never alone as much as i feel lonely and i am thankful for my family never ever ever has it ever been a thought "i wish i never had children" thank you Father me
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someone who cares eva |
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10-18-2014, 03:09 PM | #23 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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90 meetings 90 days sober
she may call anytime she can see her child when her father comes to pick her up and do things as a family this is my request until then no contact made the choice for her me
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10-18-2014, 03:19 PM | #24 | |||
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Legendary
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Been thinking of you. It's very difficult, but sometimes "tough love" is the only option. I hope she can heal her mind and her body and get back to doing what she needs to be doing very soon. |
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10-24-2014, 09:33 PM | #25 | ||
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n/a
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im sorry Eva. so sorry. reading all of this reminds me of what I've done to my mother the past 9 years when I was much too old and should have known better.
some humans, it seems, have a self destruct button they cant resist pushing at times. I hate to sound corny but I think it's from lack of love of self. the thing is the deeds affect others. I hope your daughter gets better and things turn around. |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | Alffe (11-04-2014), barbo (10-25-2014), bizi (10-25-2014), DejaVu (07-21-2015), eva5667faliure (10-26-2014), PamelaJune (10-25-2014) |
10-26-2014, 11:15 AM | #26 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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always hoping my family here are doing better then the day before God be with us it is so painful YOU hit the nail smack on the head you got it my dear you see "it" you take care of yourself one day at a time your friend who understands you story thank you for sharing me
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11-03-2014, 09:44 AM | #27 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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this that is something
completely different a feeling i never felt in my life time a shrink i have for more than five years has me on Zoloft yet to me just another pill i do not want to feel what i am feeling it is something that crept up and before you know it you have a knot in your stomach and a hole in your heart i have never felt the yearning for this horrible horrible appendage i have no control of my mind robbed by impending doom what good am i to my family who wants to feel like dying i know how i got here and i talked through it with my shrink and like yourselves tell me you have your family Eva my grandchild who is my responsibility you would think that would wipe that doomed feeling they have Nothing to do with it i feel i have and i understand it's just a feeling where you are hoping this too shall pass well it doesn't sometimes you just want to shut your brain off where's the turn off "button" the rerun of my life i cringe at so many memories so few are the remembrances of Happy times come this far in life and there is no choice it is not an option i have to believe if this came out of wherever it can go away one day i HOPE so not today me
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11-03-2014, 11:53 PM | #28 | ||
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Magnate
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Quote:
Eva, Just wondering if the Zoloft could be adding to some of this feeling of doom. All too often, these meds have the opposite effect on some people. Concerned, Gerry |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | Alffe (11-04-2014), barbo (11-05-2014), DejaVu (07-21-2015), eva5667faliure (11-05-2014), Lara (11-05-2014) |
11-05-2014, 12:11 PM | #29 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Quote:
just seen my shrink he is seen twice a month for a good number of years no he is not a God lol the last of "that kind of medicine was Lexpro and because i pay very close attention to my reactions when putting a new drug in my body in a dark place last year this time found myself in a darker place so i knew immediately it was drug related before that i was on prozac had no problems of such kind needed to be changed because it interfered with my cancer drug tamoxifen you are a smart woman i as too watch and know my body like no other as there are two new concerning things that are happening physically your concern valid you are on the same page love me
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11-12-2014, 12:28 PM | #30 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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long gone
out of their house no more abuse i'm on my own no cell phones yet and i did not have a phone yet turns out mind you hearsay from mother and sisters my father had a prank done to him from his foreman a addition to pushing him over the edge possibly however him and my two uncles worked together till his death my father was being given a lesson with this prank that he was fired for a physical fight he had with his forman sticking up for his brother well sometimes i would think its been a huge factor be it may his job was what defined him in a huge way especially as a immigrant who became a citizen of this country in the end the employers that pulled this prank was not the intent to fire him but scare him point it sucks to have had the boat pass on by soooooooo many times and now i am not employed as of April if all for a reason a little loving feeling would be great right now i will always feel a void i am not speaking of the title "Mother" fighting this mind of depressed thoughts and believe God has something prepared down the road me
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"Thanks for this!" says: | ger715 (11-12-2014) |
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