That's terribly sad news.
I felt lately that you'd been very worried that this may happen.

Is she in an hospital near to you or is she further away?

I'm so sorry.

(((Eva ))) I'm so sorry. I'll be praying for you and your family.

No contact
No contact

As its the law

So so much happening

God help us all to keep it together
Her baby needs her
God save her from herself
Let her see some light
All well wishes heartfelt
This my fear
Addiction
It kills
All
Me

You felt it my dear
You did
No contact at the moment
She has been transferred to
another hospital
No clue yet about anything else
Addiction has a hold of her
It kills
It kills us to the Core
My father taken from us
From depression
An amputee at a young age
He was turned on to hard drugs
after the accident in the hospital in
South Africa where I was born
His life came to an end by his own hands
Shot himself in the heart
In one of the cars
He was only 47
Not myself
To scared
Me

I am at a loss to say anything positive about your daughter and the choices she makes. I can say that she has an amazing mother who is in my thoughts and prayers.

have i not been the mother i have hoped to be

do my action or lack of option reason enough

i had to close the door behind me

have i not been a good role model

even in my darkest times

there is no option

she is a mommy

her pain i understand

though i am taking care of my grandchild

and have temporary custody of her

operative word temporary

this entire family is suffering

WHY

what have we done in our past

that was so terrible

what is it we are all suffering in one way or another

what makes my daughter think she can check out

with a baby that is waiting for her to make a home for them

if i have no option nor does she

we are both mothers

my tough love i'm afraid might have pushed her over the edge

and because she was not successful

i find myself very sad and very very angry

all i can say is

REALLY?

me

I truly understand all those emotions you are going through eva. I had a long journey through them myself until I finally reached acceptance. I didn't like it, didn't want to end there but it is, what it is. Guilt didn't work, didn't change the facts, anger didn't help me understand those "choices"

You are NOT responsible for her bad choices. We human beings would rather blame ourselves for tragic occurences than admit that we are unable to prevent them from happening.

It is that old accept the things we cannot change thing.

and you know i know it

it is just my make up

taking care of one thing or another

i also do understand the

it is what it is

i am very careful what i ask for

then the mother factor

wanting to protect

yet fully understand

i control no one but myself

and what i say

to be impeccable with our words

living with the fear every time the phone rings

is not living

in fact i become more isolated

as i deal with out of sight out of mind

and even that takes seemingly forever

my mind

my mind

needs a shut off switch

i am never alone

as much as i feel lonely

and i am thankful for my family

never ever ever has it ever been a thought

"i wish i never had children"

thank you Father

me

90 meetings 90 days sober

she may call anytime

she can see her child when her father
comes to pick her up and do things as a
family

this is my request

until then no contact

made the choice for her

me