today after sermon
it is not a mistake i hear
exactly as it were a message just for me
my personal relationship
with constant thaught
having a day just one day
i don't cry
i wonder how much tears
collected in my lifetime
could fill a pond
better yet a lake
all towards the ocean
that's it an ocean of tears
it just is never ending
how sad is this brain
this heart
this body
my soul
the flannel shirt
ever so soft worn in
like no other
to be a mother
is to be a teacher
it is so difficult when
a parent expresses that "it"
be a teaching moment
when the words aren't heard
the pain of it all
and as i make my choices in the day
that is not any other than
my interaction with my
grandchild four and my seventeen year old
and as close as they are
it is almost identical as Christine and Corissa
to watch the difference and how impressionable
should not surprise me
yet it does
in my day such as now
going through withdrawals
getting upset at the things that
have been let go
i do with blinders and hurt myself
physically
not nit picking
it's just one of those days
my withdrawal is spoken of
all aware yet
no excuses
it isn't easy
again
letting go here
me