[BJ]

I had a feeling something was wrong. Alffe you've been too quiet.

I've been thinking about this all day at work and I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you and, more importantly, I hope that everyone can give Alffe a hug now. She's so kind and caring and offers her support so please let's all give her a big

Originally Posted by Alffe

((((abbie)))) please don't be sorry. It least you are talking about your feelings, that's more than I'm doing. I need to practice what I'm always preaching.

I've started rereading a wonderful book by Anne Lamott. It's called "Grace (Eventually) Thoughts on Faith" and she makes me feel like less of a failure, less of a phony and I have actually laughed out loud several times.

This truely is the place to talk about how you feel and I promise to do that, if you will.

I feel like a speed bump! Hugs for the room.

I couldn't figure out how to do a link but this is the best I can do.

[Spanish Moss]

My dear Alffe.....you know how much we love you ((((((Alpho)))))

Call/write/post....our shoulders can handle it

[Alffe]

Thank you BJ and Mrs.Moi....please do not worry..it's the same old same old.
I'm been down this road and I know how it ends. But I loved the hugs. *grin

[watsonsh]

Had some Hugs for ya Alffe

[Wren]

:
Thank you for always being here.
God bless and keep you.

[Alffe]

You know I just have to say that your support means so much to me and I am honestly trying to get over this. I was taught by my mother that if you can't say something nice...don't say anything at all! My year book said, "Nice to Know"....so it's hard for me to feel angry, to plan revenge (verbal of course) and while letting it "go" sounds like the right thing to do....I've spent my life "NOT" saying it...not expressing my thoughts, not saying ouch when someone hurt me.

We had a HORRENDOUS daughter in law...a controling, vicious ***** who my son was no match for...nor were Mr.Alffe and I. She won...but we all lost including her when Michael killed himself.

I can only talk about this in dribbs and pieces because I get so angry that I get to screaming...literally, in my car.

Ok....Wren, Abbie....let's really talk about what's really bothering us.
I love you all.

[~scrabble]

{{{{{Alffe}}}}} <---------(those are squeezer hugs)

I've been feeling angry about a certain someone from my past (who I can't just escape from .... since we share our kids) .... I fumed (inside) and vented (to others) and it was kinda nice when someone would see my side. I knew I had to do something but I didn't want to just 'blow up' because I didn't see how that would do me any good. It took awhile for me to mull things over and then to decide to deal with it. A few weeks went by (although this is a super busy time of year and the kids at my school will be on summer vacation at the end of this week - excuses, excuses) and I had put it off, but I knew it wouldn't just 'go away'. Finally I composed an email (around 2 am this morning!) because I knew I would feel better about it (and myself) if I could be assertive. (Not just b*tchy or whiney.) So I stated how I felt and I requested that he consider my concerns ..... and we shall see what happens next. I really was able to sleep better (but I sure could have used more than just 4 hours of sleep!)

Time for another cup of java before I hit the road to drive to work. I just cut some of my lavender so I can teach one of the teachers how to make 'lavender wands' by folding the stems over the buds and then weaving a ribbon through the stems to encase the fragrant buds. (I know, sounds confusing!)

[Doody]

(((Alffe)))

Scrabble just said something that reminded me of how that very same thing helped me. I let it all hang out in a letter to the offending sperm donor of my daughter. It ended up getting him back in her almost good graces, and gave me a sense of satisfaction...he had every word I said coming, and more.

But then, I've always been one to mouth off when I'm ticked. Really ticked.

Yeah, what's her face is a *****. And so is her mom. But maybe you're holding back because you don't want to ruin a possible future with your new grandson. I'd feel the same way.

I dunno. Were I you, I'd make efforts to be able to see my grandson, being a part of Michael and all.

But what do I know. Pay no attention to me and just be you, because I like you just the way you are.

When I see you in the fall, you can let off steam at me to your heart's content and I will listen and then fix us both a drink.

[Alffe]

Thank you Scrabble for sharing that...I am impressed because you mulled it over and then DID something. It couldn't have been easy and you might not get the results you want but you took action.

I am still dragging my feet here. for one thing, I am not the only person involved...Mr.Alffe is in no mood for a reconciliation and has warned me that what ever decisions I make...they will be mine alone. ~sigh

And let's be brutally honest...it's easier to lick our wounds than take them to a "doctor". I am not criticizing him...we both lived it but I don't think I want to go the rest of the journey playing the role of victim.

Let me be quick to add that we ARE/WERE the victims. WWJD? I know, I know. That old saw forgiveness.

Hoping that more will share here...we can learn what works from each other.

[Alffe]

Thank you Doody...made me cry. I can't talk about it anymore right this minute because I'm too upset but I'll be back.