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-   -   Suicidal thoughts always there in the back of my head (https://www.neurotalk.org/survivors-of-suicide/225049-suicidal-head.html)

bizi 02-18-2016 11:38 PM

good luck tomorrow.
sorry that this is so hard for you.
make a copy of it so you can keep one and give her a copy.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi
I am rooting for you.:hug:

OhKay 02-19-2016 09:34 AM

I know this is going to be hard Sam, but I'm so glad you are doing it. You may feel somewhat like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders because you've finally been able to share these feelings with someone else.

I know your appointment is today. I will be thinking of you :hug::hug::hug:

SamG11 02-22-2016 06:26 PM

Hi everyone,



Sorry for not posting the day of my appointment. I just forgot to check neurotalk surprisingly. (Very rare for me cause I usually have nothing to do)



Anyway, when I walked into the room and she asked about my friends, I immediately bursted into tears. I handed her the paragraph I wrote and had her read it. The paragraph explained all my difficulties with friends. When I was crying I ended up going in deeper and telling her how everything in my life is so hard now because of this unreal feeling.




I think it helped to cry and tell her everything. It was extremely awkward in the moment, but now I feel better when I walk into the room because she knows my suffering.



On a good note...



Those hair labs that I was talking about came in, and guess what, I have too much copper and sulfur in my body! For those who don't know the labs test your hair folecules. In these hair folecules they are able to see your mineral levels and toxicity in your body. I thought it was worth the shot. All blood tests and everything physical came back fine, but I thought let me get the most precise test of them all and see what shows up. My copper level is a 5.0 and the reference range is 0.9 to 3.9.



This is exciting news, as it gives me a sigh of relief that I'm not crazy. However, I'm not getting my hopes up just yet. I'm waiting to see how the treatment (supplements) helps my symptoms wise. Who knows, the Copper and other inbalances could be completely unrelated to my depersonalization, or it could be the main cause of my symptoms. The Dr. also said it could take up to 30 days to see any improvement, which also is horrible for me.




I personally still believe it is a combination of things. I think it is Stress, Anxiety, post concussion syndrome, and my Mineral/Vitamin inbalances.

Littlepaw 02-22-2016 08:34 PM

Hi Sam,

Sorry I have been away, it looks like I missed some posts here. That was sound advice on writing your feelings down and taking it in. And you did it! :)

It takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable and share yourself. Opening yourself to healing in this way is very powerful. Your therapist will be much better able to help and relate to you now that she knows what's happening in your life and how you fell about it. I'm sure it felt better sharing that burden.

Nice job! Keep it up, you are on the right track.

:hug:

Littlepaw 02-26-2016 09:28 AM

A video for you
 
Hi Sam,

I saw this fascinating TEDtalk this week that I thought you might enjoy and find helpful. It is from social psychologist Amy Cuddy on how "Power Posing" affects our hormone levels and increases confidence and positive feelings. Just 2 minutes a day!

Enjoy! :hug:

Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are

PurpleFoot721 02-26-2016 07:51 PM

Hi Sam,

Littlepaw's recommendation is a wonderful TEDTalks. My husband has had me watch it more than once to deal with some of my own confidence issues.

We are all here for you every step of the way:grouphug:

SamG11 03-04-2016 06:36 PM

Hi guys,


Just an quick update because I have not updated you all in a while.


That was an interesting ted talk, will have to try the high power poses sometime in the future.


Nothing is really new, I still feel the same. My life is the same. However, I started the supplements last week, and guess what, I still feel the same. The supplements take around a month or so to see any improvement so I'm not surprised, but I just wish things could go a little faster :(.




Therapy is not really helping yet, and soon I will have to make the decision to try medication or not depending if the supplements do anything.



I was reading an article that a depersonalization sufferer (like me) made and it explained how when the brain gets so stressed out for a long period of time it goes into It's defense mode and sorta says "I need to get out of here!" thus, we then get depersonalized or get stuck in this dream like state. I figured that if my brain is so stress out for such a long period of time, with the medication it could help ease that stress and anxiety? Ultimately making my brain come back to its normal state?


I don't know, just a thought.. :confused:

bizi 03-04-2016 10:45 PM

I am rooting for you sam.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Littlepaw 03-05-2016 09:14 AM

Hi Sam,

I am glad you enjoyed the Tedtalk. Do try the poses. I am going to try some myself because feeling more confident and powerful sounds like a win to me. I will get in my "tiny but mighty" stance. :D

Thanks for the update. It's good you are remaining patient. It took a while to get where you are and it may take a while to get out. Progress is often gradual and difficult to notice until one day you realize that you feel different.

Many things can address your brain chemistry in addition to supplements or meds and I would add on those little things where you can. The Power Poses, getting outside, spending time in the sun, watching sunsets, laying on the ground looking at the sky, deep breathing, drawing or doodling. They all sound simple but we are human animals and our bodies do respond to these changes in focus. Little things can add up to bigger change and help you feel you are being proactive about your recovery on a daily basis.

Keep up the good work Sam, Spring is coming. :hug:

bizi 03-05-2016 12:17 PM

Getting out and walking/exercising can make such a difference in how we feel.
I would say it is the number one thing that we can do to feel better for ourselves. Why don't we all do this?
bizi


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