Wise you are
 

Keep on fighting the fight
So sorry you too experience the behavior
other perpetrate
Stay strong
As you clearly can see it is hard
But can be done
Good luck this year
You are a wise young man
Going places
Along with Sam
Much happiness I wish you both
Love
Me

Hi all,


Haven't updated in a while again...


I recently had another EEG, this time an 24/7 hour one, where I was tested at home. The results came back normal....



This is good news I guess, but I don't understand it cause I still don't feel 100% myself. The dejavu feelings and a lot of my other weird symptoms are gone. I just STILL feel different, which is so frustrating. Ever since October 17th 2014, I have felt different. I used to describe it as depersonalization, but I guess I cant call it that now? I don't know, maybe my chemicals in my brain were changed that day. So this is the "new" me. ;/




Who knows.



Instead of obsessing over all this, I've been trying to get back into normal life which I have. The only thing I still struggle with is socializing with my "friends". I just finished a week at camp counseling little kids, and a old friend that I used to hang out with all the time was there. We had a blast together, but now I'm trying to hangout with him out of camp and he just always says no or is busy. I don't know what to do... I really want to hang out with him but he never really answers me, which makes me more depressed. :(

Try to make other friends too while working on this one.
Thank you for checking in sam.
good to hear from you.
((((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Hi there Phoenix3,



I'm sorry you are going through what I am suffering from. You are exactly right about the whole friends thing and how us being males its odd to be sensitive and show all of our emotions. I just feel so alone all the time, and it sucks so much. Of course I have my family, and I see my "friends" in school and in camp, but my friends NEVER want to hang with me outside..



I always ask the one or two friends I have and they say no or they're "busy", then I end up seeing a picture on social media of them hanging out with other people. It's so frustrating to the point it makes me depressed. I don't know what's worse, the physical symptoms or the psychological symptoms.



I just want a friend to hang out with when I'm bored, someone to talk to when I'm sad, someone who can make me laugh, someone who I can tell anything to, but I just don't have that. And it sucks so much to not have that in life...

Sammy
 

You don't have that yet Sam
That someone special
it may take a little while
takes a little time
But it Will happen
Won't they be the lucky one
A true friend I am sure you will be
Thinking of you
Be well
Enjoy school
Love
Me

First, I just want to say that it's possible that you may be having some seizures even though they didn't capture them on the 24 hour EEG.

That being said, you have been through a lot throughout this whole ordeal and if my memory have already been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. That can definitely leave you feeling altered. You may want to check with your neurologist to see if it's okay with her if pursuing further treatment in that aspect of your care is okay now that your seizures appear to be under much better control...

For me, my mental health disorders and lack of self-esteem have made it hard for me to make natural and effective transitions from acquaintances to real friends in the past. Somehow I seemed to miss out on opportunities between socializing in a controlled setting and carrying relationships over to the outside world. Sometimes when I did ask, it seemed awkward or forced. I'm at a point now where I've stopped trying because I have so many things going on, I'm not ready to welcome anyone into my world right now, but I don't recommend that.

Sometimes depression can leave you with a flat affect, meaning you appear to have a lack of expression to others that makes you hard to read, so you may have to let your thoughts be known in other ways. Taking opportunities to have more or longer conversations about mutual interests, or showing interest in things that you haven't previously, in school may help you break through. It has helped me in the past.

I wish you were able to find a deserving friend who you could hang out with, and who could support you :hug:

I'm sorry things still aren't 100%, but I'm glad that you still have a positive attitude... that is so important.

Thank you for letting us know how you are doing. We always enjoy hearing from you :hug::hug::hug:

Best of luck Sam,

Kay

Sam,
I may have mentioned my grandson who turned 16 in February. He had been uncomfortable making friends; eventually bullied. My daughter-in-law began home schooling when he was in 7th grade. He is still being home schooled. He does not have any friends to share ideas. He does not complain but I know it's got to be difficult for him. He did go to a Church 5 day retreat during the summer at a camp type setting. There were 4 teens, 2 boys and 2 girls from each of the Youth Groups from several parishes. He said he really enjoyed it and hoped he could go next year again. I asked him if he kept in touch with any of the people he met; he said they really didn't do that. (So I guess the answer was "no.)

The one hopeful bright side is his seeing a friend of his parents at the Jewel grocery store in his area. He was talking to her when one of the store managers was there. She introduced my grandson to him. My grandson shook his hand. After he left, the manager told her he was very impressed with him. Wondered if he was interested in a job there? Thankfully, he got the job and is doing well. He's been working there for almost 6 months and is now working at the register.

I'm still hoping and praying for him to meet a good friend that he can do and share things with.
Sam,I sure you know the feeling.

Wishing you success in making friends that enjoy doing things/sharing, etc. with you and you with them.


Gerry

How was school
 

Hi Sammy

Just drop by to say hi
Thinking about you
Hope and a prayer
You will have a wonderful
Full exciting year
Love
Me

Hi Eva and anyone else that cares..



Thank you for the prayer, and thank you so much for dropping by.


School has started again, and I STILL feel the same. Nothing has really changed. Still on 10 mg lexapro and 300mg trileptal twice a day. Currently as I am typing this I am feeling more disconnected than usual, and just don't feel like I'm in my body. My head has a fuzzy feeling and I just feel like I am a robot on f*cking auto pilot. I hate it.



I just dont understand myself anymore. I thought the TLE (Temporal lobe epilepsy) was causing me to feel this way, but like I said in the last post it turns out it magically went away... *shocker*. I feel like both medicines are pointless to keep on taking now cause every doctor I go to says there is nothing wrong with me. And of course, when I forgot to take my medicine for a day I felt HORRIBLE, so my body is now addicted to the stupid meds.




Like I've been saying I have been living life as I used to, and I can manage it, but I still feel like crap most of the time. Nothing is changing, I have no diagnosis, I am just nothing. I am just so frustrated when I think about it, because I have tried LITERALLY EVERYTHING. *Heavy heavy sigh* :/

Thank you sam for coming here and giving us an update.
I am sorry that you still don't have a diagnosis.
very frustrating....
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi