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09-15-2016, 07:11 AM | #321 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Just spoke with Saraeve my eldest child She is 35 This I mentioned already to you I want you to know something very important When my child Saraeve had her first seizure I cannot begin to tell you what the next ten years had in store for us I went through the entire process including all test and the brain surgeries She was in her very early twenties Her first doctor neurologist Dr. Rosenbaum of Teaneck NJ NEVER I MEAN NEVER dismissed what she would express to him how her out of body experience felt like For her she said it was like déjávu She still to this day has many moments feeling that out of body experience Surgeries did not help And she lost vision in right eyepermanently Blind in right eye She has learned to live with it However my point I want to make This doctor never NEVER gave up on my daughter Most every test and I mean sooooo many tests and then the meds It was very frustrating for her doctor knowing what she was going through and it was real NOT IN HER HEAD WHAT AN OXYMORON In the end while hooked up in the hospital and I mean hooked up wires and leads all over the place and then it happened as the doctor was trying to provoke a seizure she had one alright had a grand one passing out Her entire brain seized She was passed out for a short period of time As each time one suffers a seizure brain cells die on a much quicker scale Again my point YOU STICK WITH WHAT "YOU KNOW" "YOUR OWN BODY AND MIND" Don't let anybody tell you what you are feeling Unless they have the same issues as you and my child have gone through She never allowed the few doctors who told her there wasn't any thing wrong Guess what She was diagnosed with "occipital lobe epilepsy" In your faces to the doctors who tried to make her believe there wasn't anything wrong I believe you 110% I'm going off subject for a moment BECAUSE You are such a smart young articulate human being You have much to offer with this horrible feeling it causes you to feel And you help others by expressing your story The reason I changed subject You again are so aware of your own body I so impressed Recognized when missing your dose how your body and mind behaved Chances are you are 100% correct that it is from the missed dose Just to help you understand I get you I want to share something personal I had a double radical mastectomy 1/9/2012 After finding my cancer lump in my right breast Know this as a FYI Men too are to check their breasts as they to are equally susceptible to the same disease as women BREAST CANCER Statistically neck and neck with women I was floored to hear the statistics We hear you loud and clear And I hope and pray there be a better understanding of how it affects our brain and body I speak of medicines I began taking the medicine called tamoxifen This drug shut down my estrogen out put Shut my estrogen down Because my breast cancer is estrogen driven CAN YOU IMAGINE IT HAD TO BE THE FEEL GOOD HORMONE MY BODY PRODUCES NEEDED TO BE SHUT DOWN And what followed wasn't fun My feel good hormone gone Causing me to feel unnatural thoughts and physical changes This just a small example The facial hair much thicker on my face I can still get away with a decent look You know what mean Like under my nose A slight mustache I never liked waxing or any kind of hair removal So I bleach it Like I said I can still get away with it But it's there And it's not my imagination what I feel Depression of another kind added to the other stuff And this new kind of depression that began as a result of my estrogen depletion being on tamoxifen Went through menapause quicker I know my body like nobody else As do you know yours I know my brain and what it feels and thinks And I so understand your frustration If and until this all works itself out with your doctors you MAKE them listen I have such HOPE for you And no fault of your own And certainly not something to be embarrassed about Stand firm Sammy But in the meantime If you can remember You are responsible for your happiness With what you let in and out of YOUR LIFE You matter You are a strong individual who has a good grip on what's happening Making friends isn't easy But you keep fighting this fight Don't let it consume you Make time to give yourself HAPPINESS HOWEVER you may Just get that belly laugh in a day would be an awesome thing Wouldn't you agree Who doesn't like to laugh Glad I dropped bye I will do so every once in a while You matter And so many care about you Have a wonderful day Know you are thought about Enjoy all you can Life goes on by just so quickly Make it count for you Love Me
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someone who cares eva Last edited by eva5667faliure; 09-15-2016 at 10:46 AM. |
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09-16-2016, 06:29 AM | #322 | |||
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Elder
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I'm sorry you still feel like ****, and you continue to feel frustrated and discouraged Sam
The truth is that you do have diagnoses. You do have epilepsy, anxiety, and depression... Since your neuro has found that your epilepsy is under control, it seems to me that it's time to take another look at how your anxiety and depression are being treated. I think you could benefit from some med adjustments or changes in that area, and/or therapy (if that is something you're comfortable with). You can allow your pdoc to contact your neuro regarding possible med changes if you are worried about potential effects on your epilepsy. Your pdoc will be aware of any interactions with the Trileptal and Lexapro. I hope things start to go your way soon Keep writing. We're all pulling for you Kay |
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09-17-2016, 11:17 AM | #323 | |||
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Member
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Hi Sam!
Thank you for updating everyone here. You have so many members here that definitely do care about you, are constant wondering how you are doing, and are on your side knowing that better days will one day come to you. Many caring hugs to you Sam.
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. Alaina |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | Alffe (09-17-2016), bizi (09-17-2016), eva5667faliure (09-17-2016), OhKay (09-19-2016), SamG11 (10-03-2016) |
09-19-2016, 07:18 PM | #324 | |||
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Member
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Dear Sam,
You don't know me, and you may never hear from me again, but I just want you to know, that there is someone out there that knows how you feel. That another male has the same emotions as you do. I hope you believe me when I say that, once the drama of school is over, once all of the pettiness of that world is left behind, you will be able to find someone that loves how sensitive you are, somebody that can see the strength behind your pain, and love you all the more for it. I used to live on this forum, too broken to change, and too hurt to want to, but time makes it easier, and eventually it starts to hurt less and less, until the things that you used to be ashamed of (all of those feelings and emotions that men aren't "supposed" to have) you'll become proud of; like you can experience a level of feeling that other men only dream of. Like you can love a person more than they ever believed possible, and they will love you all the more for it. I know it feels like a burden, but once you can fully understand the depths of your emotion, you will be able to put that emotion into someone that matters to you, and they will think that you are perfect, no matter how broken you feel, and you will revel in every second of what you used to think was misery. You and I, we feel what other people can't, and we can spread more happiness and love than any "normal" person could dream of...... you just need to be patient... and I know it's not easy... but when your peers finally catch up to your mental maturity, they will think that you are amazing, and you will be able to care for them in a way they couldn't have previously imagined, and they will love you for it. We just need to survive long enough for that to happen. I know you can do it, because I have lived it, and I think you are just like me. You are so much stronger than most people ever need to be. I hope one day you understand that.
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~ Lonely1 |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | bizi (09-19-2016), eva5667faliure (09-20-2016), OhKay (09-20-2016), PurpleFoot721 (09-19-2016), SamG11 (10-03-2016) |
09-20-2016, 06:48 AM | #325 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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You have hit the nail on the head Sammy thelonely1 has lived it Listen to what the message is Your intellect is keen You are just as he said And like I may have mentioned Once you find not just one but an array of persons that they will be the "lucky" ones to know you As I am honored to have met a very beautiful human being such as yourself The message is so on the money You will as time goes on and you begin to understand your emotions and find the ways to understand them for you And you will spread all that love into your moment in life It is a difficult time when in school As I also felt no one got me You are not alone We are your family your village You have a home with us Lonely1 thank you for your graciousness It has gone through my veins Thank you for your honesty of your own personal experience strength and HOPE God bless May your life be filled with happiness as the words of a wise man yourself who had the heart to share and touch others in more ways than you will ever know To you both Live life to the fullest Love Me
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someone who cares eva Last edited by eva5667faliure; 09-20-2016 at 07:04 AM. |
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10-27-2016, 01:36 PM | #326 | ||
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Member
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Hello everyone,
It has been a while, but I wanted to update those who care.. (If Anyone) Basically, nothing has changed. Im still on lexapro (Anxiety?) and still on trileptal (TLE). I'm also now on some acne meds because my acne is so bad. I still feel just OK not 100% but just OK, but everyone says I'm fine, so I guess I'm fine. Today marks my 16th birthday. And I have no idea why, but today I have had extreme anxiety and depression. No clue why, I've been pretty decent recently in terms of anxiety, and felt no sadness. But all the sudden, today I just feel sad. Every time someone wishes me happy birthday I just get more sad. I feel like my brain has sub consciously made a connection between anxiety and this time of year. I just don't feel like I deserve all the gifts and birthday wishes. I just want to curl up in a ball and hide. |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | bizi (10-27-2016), eva5667faliure (10-29-2016), ger715 (10-31-2016), OhKay (10-29-2016), PurpleFoot721 (10-27-2016) |
10-27-2016, 02:13 PM | #327 | |||
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Member
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Happy birthday Sam! You do deserve it and so much more. Many hugs to you to let you know that I care, and I am sure that may others here do as well.
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. Alaina |
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10-27-2016, 08:59 PM | #328 | |||
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Wisest Elder Ever
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Happy happy birthday sam.
Happy sweet 16! sorry about your acne, I am 53 and still deal with it. use acne free like proactive but thru target and half the cost. bizi
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. Hattie the black and white one wrestling with hazel, calico. lost hattie to cancer..... Happiness is a decision.... 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9, |
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10-29-2016, 07:09 AM | #329 | |||
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Elder
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Dear Sam,
You may be feeling sadness and anxiety because your birthday is a reminder that another year has passed without the improvement you want and need so badly Other people may think you are "fine" because our outsides don't always match our insides. Over time I've learned how to hide what's going on internally very well (most of the time) so I don't upset other people and I can fit in better. I hope you have someone you can talk to so that you have an outlet, and are not always keeping your feelings inside. I'm so sorry that you are feeling more sadness and anxiety lately We are always happy to hear from you Sam, and look forward to hearing updates. Please don't doubt that we care because we do In addition to the people who reply to you, there are many people who read on the forum, but don't post. Many are likely following your thread with interest even though they don't reply. Take care Sam, and let us know how you are doing Kay |
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11-30-2016, 02:16 PM | #330 | ||
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Member
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Hi Sam, I am 33. I've had PCS since my rollover car accident 5 years ago. I know your struggles and dark thoughts. I'd be happy to talk with you. Feel free to private message me and can discuss treatments/general ways to cope.
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