NeuroTalk Support Groups

NeuroTalk Support Groups (https://www.neurotalk.org/)

- Survivors of Suicide (https://www.neurotalk.org/survivors-of-suicide/)

- - I give up (https://www.neurotalk.org/survivors-of-suicide/226136-i-give-up.html)

True I do not know your family believe me mine is no prize either and they are the reason for most off my problems but you can not tell me that there is no one that cares about you there are people right here that seem to care a great deal :grouphug:

Feeling inadequate

Quote:

Originally Posted by dancinglady (Post 1174872)

I will answer each question individually. I was a dancer, yes I did like to dance. I no longer can dance. No I do not watch Dancing with the stars it is too depressing. Life is not precious. Sorry about your neighbor but if they wanted to die, they received their wish. I do not have loved ones that would not be joyful if I were dead. There would be no more helping me and they would be happy. Life in my case was and has not been a gift. I have had a horrible tragedy after tragedy life. I was just turned down for a promotion again. I have never ever gone above a "worker bee" type of job eventhough I have three college degrees. That should answer this post.

Hi Dancing Lady,

I in no way meant to offend you. You sound a bit "defensive" and I did not mean to create that position. As I mentioned, I am NOT qualified to be of assistance in any professional manner. I do think YOU have a right to your decisions, whether I agree with them or not. We obviously have different views about the value of YOUR life. I also respect your privacy and your reluctance to share information on this forum.

I am not about to go head to head and try to match you tragedy for tragedy but your statement
Quote:

I was just turned down for a promotion again. I have never ever gone above a "worker bee" type of job even though I have three college degrees. That should answer this post

. leads me to believe that you are NOT in the proper frame of mind to make a decision concerning your existence.

I really wish you would seek professional assistance to see if there is a way for you to turn your life into something positive and worthwhile.

Again, I do not mean to offend you. I do not plan to post any further comments as I see that I am unable to reach you in any way. It is your life and I will only hope that you will continue to post on this forum. I think your life is valuable even if you do not. I will look forward to reading future posts from you but I will try to keep my opinions to myself.

Since you mentioned my "name". When I first joined NT, I was feeling very "Hopeless". It was with the help of members here, I found that I was not alone in my pain. I also found a GREAT pain mgt. doctor and now the members that know me best know that I have dropped the "less". They call me Hope.

Wishing you the very best and I personally hope you will stick around.

I re read my answers. Whenever I am in a hurry to answer I forget the edit button. I will try to keep my defensiveness a little bit better checked. Can I use your name and you could sign on as "hope". I have been in psychological therapy for 34 years and have seen no benefit above what I could do myself. I don't think it is the way to go now. Also, I have a college degree in psych/sociology but that did not help either.

I sit here..........

Quote:

Originally Posted by dancinglady (Post 1174914)

crying my eyes out because I lost my husband on Aug 30th......he always said he would not be around long and at 58 he wasn't...but you know what ? He really, really wanted to be here the last 3 months he was alive....after his surgery he wanted to live and be here.

Our life wasn't always great.....I just, JUST learned how much this man loved me after 35 years of marriage and now he's gone....gone. To never come back.

If your attitude with your family is anything like it is on here than you probably need to find whatever love you feel for them and let them know it....now....before it is too late. Don't do that to them......what seems fair to you sure isn't fair to them I can assure you.

Back to my Seagram's now.

Debi

I am so sorry for your loss Debi. :(

Dancinglady,

As stated, in Oregon and Washington State 2 independent Doctors must diagnose a Terminal Illness with a prognosis of less than 6 months to live. If this is the case with you, I apologise and I feel for you.

In Montana, all cases are scrutinised and Doctors are still open to prosecution. As you are still able to be a functioning member of Society - Working - I doubt any Doctors could be found who would risk their Licenses and Freedom.

Touching on that, you are still able to work, you have colleagues you interact with, possibly others, so you impact on people's lives in a fundamental way. That is a Blessing you should count every day. You can make a positive difference to your own, and other people's lives.

Dave.

Isn't this suppose to be the place we can talk about our suicidal thoughts and feelings. Why all the guilt getting thrown into me.

Debi I am sorry you lost your husband. I never got 35 years with mine. I am sorry that for the last 3 months he wanted to be here. I worked in an ER so I have known many people in your husbands and your case.

We are both in the grieving stage just for different reasons. First I was an only child so all of my relatives are dead!!! My job is a quality control and enforcement. I impact people they don't want to see us coming. I am working with twenty years olds that would very much like all the older workers to get out of there. The faster we leave the better they would like it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by dancinglady (Post 1174976)

I'm not trying to guilt you into anything. I'm trying to show you the Light.

And yes this is the place to share suicidal thoughts and feelings but you seem to be acting upon those suicidal thoughts and that is where we come in.

If you will read any other threads on here that are similar to yours then you will see all these same people reaching out to that person.

I am so sorry you didn't have as many years with your husband or loved ones. But you have come to a community here that is a Family in every sense of that word. I have become so close to someone on here in less than a year that I plan on visiting her next year. How awesome is that ?

And I get the job.....for 26 years I worked in the quality and administrative claims dept for a carpet company. A dept I started all on my own because I had one manager that believed in me. When I left that dept had 9 people working in it. Talk about people that don't want to see you coming.....I got you on that and totally understand. I was laid off after 26 successful years because I'm a woman and I made too much money. The beloved owner of this very large carpet company died about 2 years prior to that and the 'young' ones came in to take over. Not family mind you and they didn't give a darn....just make more money. I lost a family when I left that place. I could have stayed in touch but I didn't.....they all showed up at my husband's visitation and funeral. Shocked I was and very humbled by their kindness after I'd shoved them away in Sept 2012.

So thank you for opening up a bit. That's all any of us want is to get to know you. You reach out and we reach back :)

Please keep posting and I'll keep reading.

Debi from Georgia

Dancinglady,

I worked in Quality Management for a top Electronic Shielding Company and yes, it is not a popular job. But I went home every day knowing that, because of me, my clients, top Aerospace and Electronic Groups, were getting the best and my Company was expanding on the back of increased orders. I got flak from everyone from Sales to Supplies as I was seen to be working against the Company's individual employees when I picked up on mistakes and threw the book at people. Yet, due to Accreditation and Regulations, everyone knew, at the end of the day, that I was doing good.

No-one is trying to lay guilt on you. When one talks openly on a Forum about suicidal thoughts those of us who care, and who have been there, or have experienced the pain of loss, naturally will Post the opposite view. In 2012 my pain and Depression (I have Depressive Personality Disorder) were so bad I actually reached out to my Dr for help as I feared for my own safety. I have enough meds in my posession to take down an elephant. This is not like me, I am an Introvert, I share nothing (until I came here), but I went into Counselling.

This got me through the worst until my Therapist abandoned me due to not being able to cope with my Cancer dx. However, that same time I got the word that my Granddaughter was going to be born which gave me a whole new reason to continue.

Had I been a Member then, I know I would have received better support here than in Therapy. I did not want to end my life, I saw few options or reasons to continue. Yet I talked, difficult as it was, I found self-worth. I strongly believe this is what you need to do.

Dave.

Quote:

Originally Posted by dancinglady (Post 1174976)

Isn't this suppose to be the place we can talk about our suicidal thoughts and feelings. Why all the guilt getting thrown into me.

You can share your feelings here, but it doesn't mean members agree or support suicide.
Most post here for support to avoid suicide and suicidal feelings, and to work though the rough times..