Losing someone...anyone..but especially a child, to suicide is life changing.
You just don't know it at the time because you are in shock and can't think.
I'm still learning about the effects Michaels choice had on our family.

His dad shared this with me recently (maybe it was the wine that made him open it up.. ) Being male Mr.Alffe was always a take charge person, a solution oriented kind of guy...an "I can fix this now that I know what the problem is"
....a typical male type.

But...there was no fixing this! There was no solution, no way to make it better try tho he did. And it changed something in him...perhaps for the better because he had to realize that he wasn't in charge. And somehow that made it easier to go the distance...knowing that he couldn't change the world.

I finally came to the conclusion that Michaels death was an impulsive act.
Michael was an impulsive kind of guy and short on patience. Recently I read that there are four kinds of suicidal crisis.

"Impulsive suicidal behavior may follow anger, disappointment or frustraton. The emotional crisis may be only temporary, but for an impulsive person it could be extremely dangerous" *

And that reminds me of the awful moderator at our only support group here in town.


*Making Sense of Suicide" by David Lester, Ph.D