Wow, I read this thread as though it was written yesterday... I even added my thanks!

Well, thanks, dear Alffe for bumping it up! I'd like to continue the conversation by adding my answer to the original question:

I have suffered depression off and on (manic ups and lows) and have been medicated successfully (altho not always!) for the past 10 yrs or more...

I have had thoughts of taking my life (again, off and on) for the last 3 years - and these were times when stress and life circumstances overwhelmed and pushed me deep down.

Until that point, I could NEVER fathom what it would feel like...

Until that point, I could not have honestly told you I had thoughts of suicide because I had NOT yet experienced those thoughts...

when the thoughts came I realized what it felt like....

until then, I could only imagine...

In experiencing those deep down thoughts, I finally understood why people take their own lives.

I am very grateful that I didn't act on my irrational thoughts.

...and that Mr. Alffe took the gun away...

I pray that KELL has a more understanding husband now.. its been 3 years since she wrote above and I pray that her cycle of abuse has ended...

I hope cybil_who is at a good space in her life.

And I'll answer the original question with a "no answer"... define "normal"..