I'M bumping this up for its initial message.



SUICIDE is a tragedy...............it is.........avoidable.........its a traversty...........yet it continues to occur..........why.????????


because its still a subject very few people discuss until its too late....

David

...until it is too late....fateful words David. Reaching out can be soooooo very hard for some......My hope is that anyone contemplating will find that someone or that someplace and that strength, or that angel.....

Having been there yet again, I am finding this to be pretty compelling, neither am I the least bit happy about it. As usual I pray for all of us, on both sides of this kind of tragedy.

David, Everything can eventually help, even though someone might be offended by it in the beginning. When dear Nik-key picked up on feelings of despair in a psot in another section, she encouraged me to come here. I reluctantly did, and one of the first threads I read made me so mad that this is part of the letter I wrote to her:

Dear Nikki, I almost posted this in the thread talking about "it". Then I decided to copy it instead and send it to you because it sounds too angry. But it kind of explains how scary it is for me to read SOS. Do you think that is exactly why I should read it or should I not?

So why am I so angry now?
Even to read the OP's words, I had to hide
Eyes peeking out beneath hands sheilding them
from the truth, the comparisons, the questions
turned my light down low, and read the answering posts in spurts

on purpose not hitting the Thanks button
even though I am thankful
but withholding my thanks
too angry to thank you
too angry at me for not knowing what's best
should I keep reading or just let it rest
skipped from page 5 to the last
in a hurry to post
a defiant and feisty response to "it"

not knowing if the fact that this scares me so much
is a reason to continue or a reason to quit (reading, that is)
all of this time I've been holding my breath
for some reason remembering the things that were said
Two separate times from two separate people
one was a hot line volunteer, one was my shrink,
told me that suicide was always an option
still don't know why they would say such a thing
unless it was for shock value-because it did shock me
But only to make me wonder why anyone would risk
saying such a risky thing

talking about "it" ...is it good or bad
I am not sure, but it sure makes me scared

I hope you are not mad that I am "using you" for advice.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Not only was she not mad, she wrote me a string of letters, bringing me along at lightening speeds compared to how long it would have taken me on my own to be able to face my fears about even reading in this section.

Then the rest of you brought me along even further by sharing your good, bad, and ugly. Putting it out there in the light of day-for all to see and learn from. I owe so much to all of you who dare to post.

I still hold my breath when I read SOS-I want to jump in and help you all pull ahead, but do not know how to do for you what Nnik-key and others did for me. So until I figure out how to give more, for now I will just take and take from each of you and be so grateful.

((Sue)) you are very courageous. Never forget that. No matter what I or anyone else might have said to encourage you... YOU took that first step, you keep coming back... and I am so proud of you love you

We can fight this together Mistiis. We do share a lot in common and I’m so glad that we’ve crossed paths. Just try to remember what you told me, “No matter how bleak and lonely things get there really is a joy waiting to bloom somewhere. You will find that you are not alone”.



I am fighting, and I am still here and I can thank you for that, from the bottom of my heart. Just hold on to hope, I’m trying and I hope you are too.

Thanks to all of you for all your words in this thread, they bring me a little peace.

My Dad killed himself..after much suffering in his life. I forgive him for that.....I understand why he did. But, with that understanding and forgiveness I carry with me the notion that it is OK for me too....and so I think about ending my suffering, sometimes.

About the people that run from those of us that suffer.....I've done it too, so how can I criticize them? No one wants to be around bad news, if they don't have to.

When I became sick with spine problems...I was told that I would loose friends..and it seems to be true. Sometimes they ask how I am..but they turn away when I tell them the truth, they don't want to hear it. But, I've gained new friends. Here, and at other online health sites, and my PT and one of his other clients and I have become best of friends-fishing buddies....so out with the old....and in with the new!

Life is confusing to me, and the more I pay attention to the way humans treat each other, the less I understand the point of it.

....and so I think about ending my suffering, sometimes.

You're not alone, Tim. I actually think that's a very human way of thinking. It can all be so darn big and complicated. I know.

You take care there.

[I had quoted the part you wrote which I responded to just now, but decided to edit out the actual quote --- was about life being so confusing and how that makes you feel]

what Lara said, tking...

welcome (again. )

can you tell us about your music sometimes?? Would love to hear about it...

Am I weak? Am I strained? Am I sick? And where do friends and family run to when that happens? Why do people turn away when you need them the most? Something I don't understand because I tend to be just the opposite. Is it that you give so much and then when you suddenly can't people just don't understand? I don't know. It is obviously still very taboo to be suicidal. The closet is not a fun place to be. We all need a good friend.

Yes, BJ, I am still here and I am still fighting for my life! We will get there together. Hang in there dear friend. I do care. I do understand.

Welcome Tking. Its nice to see you here. We would like to hear about that music

(((mistiis)))