I wonder if I can add more....

I wonder if that's allowed???

I wonder why it is that I can keep so much bottled up inside that no one really knows what I am feeling...

I wonder when many people ask me how I'm doing I give the usual... I'm holding on, I'm fine, I'm ok, Same old same, etc.... not lies... but easier to say.

but...

I wonder why it is that no matter how hard I try I can't hide what I am really feeling to certain people in my life....

I wonder why it is that when they ask me certain direct questions I can't answer them at all... (because I won't lie.)

I wonder at how they already know the answer.

I wonder at the fact that they really seem to care about me.. this I don't understand.

I wonder if they know that I really probably won't take the help that they are wanting me to take.

I wonder if they know how scared I am that when I don't that they are going to be mad and disappear from my life.

I wonder if they know that will kill me.

I wonder if you all know that i've already lost too many people due to my "illness" and depression.

I wonder if you all know that the people in my life are only in it because they have to be... doctor (his family) and lawyers w/his staff.

I wonder if I can say...I'm only putting these wonders here because they were about to explode in my head.

I wonder if Abbie will remember that WE are in her life and we don't have to be...we want to be!

I wonder if Abbie stops talking about her truths because most people don't really listen...such a small thing to ask....to listen. ~sigh

I wonder if I can locate those articles about listening.....

I wonder at how much fun it is to sit in the hot tub and have snow falling on your head.......it's the getting in and out that's hard! Brrrrrrrrrrrr.

I wondered tonite when I heard the weatherman say he'd never see it change from blinding rain to blinding snow so rapidly....

I wonder if I can give Abbie a hug

I wonder if I can tell you that when I read your post, I felt like you were holding up a mirror.

I wonder if I can assure you that opening up is OK.

I wonder if I can tell you that a lot of people, don't or won't ever how know you feel.

I wonder if I can say that is OK, too.

I wonder if I can say that feeling things deeply inside is a gift in a way.

I wonder if that sounds odd.

I wonder about people that don't go deep inside.

I wonder that I respect people that feel things deeply and dare to go where no man has gone before.

I wonder if you know that I too, wonder if people are faking it.

I wonder if you know that' I too, struggle with feelings of rejection and abandonment.

I wonder if I can tell you that I am proud of you.

I wonder at how much easier it is for me to speak of these things this way.

I wonder if it is for you too and I hope you don't feel so bad anymore.

i wonder if abbie knows that her 3 special friends said many many prayers for the other night?

i wonder if she knows i'm glad you posted your wonders? head feel better?

i wonder if alffe wouldn't be so cold getting out of the hot tub if she was running back in the house nekkid? i wonder if she plan on giving mr alffe a whole bottle of wine?

i wonder why i don't wonder very much anymore?

I wonder if da monkey knows that alffe running anywhere neeked is not a pretty picture..I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

I W..........If i canTell Abbie , i want to be in her life
I W..........If Abbie knows.. i understand the depths of depression and understand her pain
I W .........If Abbie Abbie knows the statement 'No Secrets' it means tell people the truth all the time.. When someone says how are you . Say 'crap' if need be. They may walk off , but you will have rid a ittle bit of how you feel.
IW.. if Abbies heard of a therapy called REIKKI?... It's a bit like emotional garbage collection and dumping service all in one.. Unblocks life energy and cleans spirtualy kind of thing.. dont ask.. try FANTASTIC..............

I W ..........if i can leave a big for ABBIE


I W .... HOW Super Tuesday went.?????...
IW...........IF the dark cloud i ate last night that gave me terrible WIND[and some thunder] was Garlic PATSTE ......ha..ha..[ curry with garlic.........lol]
I W How BJ IS..................Hope your ok BJ
IW...IF Curious knows how funny she is with some of her posts...i laugh my head off.
IW ... If Xie will check in and say hello...hope you know your missed.

IW ..IF i can say TTFN and leave a big for all

David

I wonder why...

I wonder if I can say I don't know if it's because they don't listen... It's more that I believe they don't truly care.

I wonder if you know that it's not a mirror...just looking deep inside of me.
I wonder if I can say...that I don't feel like me opening up is ok...
I wonder if you know...that I've never heard anyone say they are proud of me... THANK YOU.
I wonder if I can say...that speaking in general about me is very hard.

I wonder if you know how much I appreciate those prayers...
I wonder if you know that no...my head is still feeling like it's going to explode...it's still filled with many wonders, worries, and fear.

I wonder again...why?
I wonder if I can say I don't do "No Secrets" because most people who ask are people who really don't know me and I know they are only asking to out of "casual courtesy"
I wonder...reiki... yes, i've heard of it. But I'm in no state to use...

I wonder if you know that I meant you were holding up a mirror and I was seeing myself.

I wonder if you know that I wasn't speaking to you out of common courtesy... I REALLY KNOW

I wonder if you know that I struggle with opening up all the time... I KNOW

I wonder if you know that I remember the first time someone told me they were PROUD of me (not very long ago), it meant more to me than I LOVE YOU.

Abby, I don't wonder... I KNOW how you feel...

and I hope that these "I WONDERS" from me are not MINIMIZING you in any way. I just want you to know you are IMPORTANT. I've struggled most of my life not feeling like I am anything. I struggle still. I just want to convey to you the things that I have learned.

This is hard for me too, Abby... in fact, I am crying a little.

I just wanted to convey to you that you are better than you think you are.

I hope I helped.

Hope

for everyone

I wonder how our friends affected in the tornadoes yesterday are getting along..that was some monster storm..(check in if ya can.)

I wonder if I will have a serious choccy attack next week.

I wonder if Curious is craving chocolate..i know i am.

I wonder when our weather here will stablize,and keep me out of pain flares...I really need a break right now.

for the room!!