[ckepi]

I wonder why just when I found this wonderful place life got so darnd busy?

Why I can feel so connected to people I've never met in person yet so disconnected from people I see every day?

Why life gives me so many lessons?

Why at 31 my body has started to betray me, well I know the answer to this one, I know its the MS but why?

How having a fever can push my body over the edge and make me so fatigued.

If all my board friends know even when I'm not typing I check in and read up on them.

I wonder how even though I've been through so much I still find plenty to smile about.

How even when I feel like my life is falling apart the people around me don't see it.

How my daughter's smile lights up my world.

How my dog knows when I need a good cuddle.

How the sound of my cat purring relaxes me so much.

If my DH will ever realize all need to fall in love with him every day is his smile.

Why crying can be such a relief?

What Sam would think of my life now and how he would have celebrated his 35th birthday this year?

Why is the rain so comforting?

Does every one love that first warm day of spring when the sun is shining and the breeze is blowing and you realize you'll be able to put your winter jacket away for a while?

What puts a smile on Alffee's face?

Does Nohope know I think of her often?

How is David doing today?

Hows Abaski and Doody and Curios?

Am I normal? What's normal mean any more any ways?

[Alffe]

I wonder if ckepi learned to be so insightful from having MS or learned compassion from her life's experiences...........

I am overwhelmed by the overcoming of adversity...is it acceptance...is it hope....

I wonder why I can't remember ckepi's real name...it's written down next to my computer...at home...

I also wonder when she's gonna share her book list....

I wonder if I can leave hugs for the room.

[Doody]

I wonder of ckepi knows how nice it is to see her post and how eloquent it is.

[Alffe]

I wonder if Doody has to go all the way to Nebraska to get her new doggy...

I wonder if Cooper is having fun with Holly....

I wonder about those wet suits on the swimmers...looks cold to me!

I wonder about this time change....love to have it light longer but not dark later in the a.m............

[Doody]

I wonder if I can tell Ms. Alffe that they are going to meet me halfway in between sometime next weekend, but I don't know which day yet.

I wonder how our Ms. Holly Hussie is doing with Cooper? I wonder if I need to have a talk with those two and make sure they are ready for a commitment. (Mr. Cooper deserves only the best of course.)

I wonder if Ms. Alffe knows those wetsuits look cold but keep them warm.

I wonder about the movie Michael Clayton. George Clooney is so easy on me eyes.

I wonder how long it will take to see my new baby, Bruna, turn into a happy playful furbaby.

I wonder at how so tired I am of winter and I've always liked winters and the hibernating and warm cuddly bed and blankets when it's frigid and snowing outside. But enough already!

I wonder that the worst blizzard I was ever in was on March 29, 1975. It lasted 2 days and I was alone in a farmhouse with pnuemonia and had to have neighbors come on snowmobiles and dig me out...couldn't even get the doors open.

I wonder at how wonderful spring will be...rain and sun and green grass. Big sigh...

[Abbie]

I wonder why I am soooooooooooo bored today???

I wonder why it's sooooooooo quiet around here lately....

I wonder if it's because ya'll aren't bored?!?!?!

I wonder why it is that I'm so dang yappy lately?

I wonder if I can tell ya'll that I'm ok... just dealing with some frightening things right now.

I wonder what my purpose in life is???

I wonder if ya'll know that I'm really a shy person and VERY quiet when I'm around people.

I wonder where mom is taking me for dinner tomorrow???

I wonder if everyone is warm, safe, happy, and doing the best they can do tonight!?!?!

I wonder if I can just leave for all and go before I ramble on and on and on and on and on and on..... ok I'm going


Abbie

[Doody]

I wonder how my son in law is doing today. His cousin just had a baby, born with chromosomal abnormalities including a heart defect. Little tiny thing had heart surgery last week. She died Saturday night, 11 days old. God speed little baby.

I wonder at how much we all need to have spring back again. I miss the green grass, trees and flowers.

Originally Posted by ckepi

If all my board friends know even when I'm not typing I check in and read up on them.

yes (hi, c!!)

Originally Posted by Alffe

I wonder if I can leave hugs for the room.

and yes again

[DMACK]

i wonder if i can tell Abbie her purpose in life is to remain kind, caring and compasionate...i think thats purpose enough

i wonder if i can say hi ckepi, i'm well thank you.

i wonder if all this studying will pay off?

i wonder if i can just leave a hi to all and a big

David

[nohope]

Such grief! I cannot imagine. The precious little soul is in the arms of the lord now.

I just received a phone call from my new friend I was telling you about, the one I am helping clear all the clutter from 3 suicides in her immediate family. A friend of her's just lost her 2 year old granddaughter, to sexual abuse and then murder Saturday night. This happened in Salem Oregon. All I could say to her was how sorry I was for all who have been affected by this horrific tradgedy and told her she really needs to be with her friend right now.

My God! Why?!! A friend of mine who had accompanied me to my divorce trial also lost her 3 year old Christmas of 2006 after a horrific car crash with a semi. It was the seatbelt that drug her to her death. Why? We protect our kids with all we have and by the laws and what society has taught us. How could this happen?!

After all those beautiful, wonderful years of Alffe being a wonderful parent, my God, how could you take Michael? Why?

Why did my husband, father of my children decide that an "out" was the best way to fix this mess? Why?!! God why? I am soooooooo alone and so sad. I don't want a replacement, I just want to raise my kids the right way, but how can you do that without a father? All I ever dreamed about was a family. I never thought about a career in high school, all I thought about was a family and being a mama like my mom. I keep bumping along trying to do what we used to and keep my kids active and happy. I am all they got. What should happen if I go?

Looking4hope, I don't think I have ever responded to one of your entries, but I read them daily. I truly care, as much of the things you say I can totally relate to. I just don't know what to say. I have never been one to say the "right things". I feel I have lost the majority of my friends because I am spontaneous and just blirt out the first thing that comes to mind without thinking about how it will affect the individual. I am teaching myself now to listen more and think about my response and how it will affect the person before blirting it out. I am listening, I care and I am here with everyone else.

Ckepi, I know we could talk all night. I think of you often. I know you really miss your past as I do mine. We will never forget. You are 8 years post, I am 5 months. Really, does it get any better? You loved yours, I loathed mine, but it wasn't always that way. I never thought there could be such a union between 2 people, we were inseperable and best friends. I hate him for what he did. All I demanded was that he get help and only then could a marraige counselor save us. His answer was divorce!

Ok, I am ranting. My kiddos just polished off their Taco Bell burritos. I am on a diet, so "no touch". Got to get this butt off the chair and away from the computer. So hard!

Alffe, how's the sunny side sun shine? Gotta tan? Rock on!