[KathyM]

Clothing has always been an issue for me. As a kid, I was teased because my mother would not allow me to wear anything current or have more than a few outfits to last the entire year. I never wore hand-me-downs (sister was 6 yrs older), but the clothing my mother chose for me was intentionally plain, sturdy and big enough to last an extra year. I wasn't allowed to look pretty.

When I was able to break free and get a job, it felt so good to wear nice clothing. I remember a woman at work telling me she and her co-workers considered me the best dressed person in my department. I didn't dress well in order to stand out. I dressed well in order to fit in - in order to not have to worry about being teased for my "rags." At home, even my casual clothing looked good.

My illness (amyloidosis) causes overall skin irritation. Orthostatic hypotension makes it virtually impossible to shop and try on clothing without fainting. Our funds are limited, so my husband came home one day with three dresses for me from the flea market. They are full length, sleeveless, very soft embroidered dresses made in India and they are VERY comfortable.

However, I am NOT comfortable wearing them outside in public. I stand out like a sore thumb, and the "hippy chick" look has NEVER looked good on me. I gathered my nerve one night and sat out front with my husband. My neighbor comes over, looks me up and down and says "That looks....um.....comfortable. Where did you buy it?" I felt a little humiliated saying it came from the flea market.

A few days later, her daughter (10 yrs younger than I am) tells me she has some old "gypsy" dresses she doesn't wear and will pack them up and give them to me. It made me feel like a charity case - only worthy of other people's garbage. Is that what I've become?

She didn't give them to me. She gave them to my husband to give to me, so now I'm stuck with them.

I've swapped clothing with friends of mine in the past on occasion for special events, but I've never had this happen to me before. It was a real swipe at my dignity and pride. I doubt I could feel good about myself, inside or out, knowing I'm wearing my neighbor's "good will." If my other neighbors find out I'm wearing her clothing, they will think my husband can't afford to buy me clothing.

What should I do with the dresses my neighbor gave me? What should I tell my neighbor?