[clownie]

I took to many of the wrong pills. Pluus I over took to many pills.

I was took you can't take the type of pills I took which were antidepression and pills for bipolar only and I took about 300 pills at lease. Plus the found be before it was to late.

I won"t ever try to kill myself again. It's to hurtfull to our love one. But if I ever Feel I can't handle living again I will get in my car and just leave. Which I'm about at the point right now. I don't feel if I do No one wopuld even notice I have left. Unless they need me to do some thing for them or tell me I made another mistake and they are the only ones right.

I'm so tried of being played like the fool and never knowing anything
Clownir

[Twinkletoes]

Awwww, ((((Clownie))))

Judging from your username, it would appear that you try to conceal your feelings by playing the clown. You can just be yourself here.

I've only been here since January, but have met and made many good friends. There are truly caring people who frequent this message board.

Please post more often so we can get to know you better, K?

[Alffe]

Hello again Clownie, I noticed you took BiPolar pills...are you BP? We have a forum for this...http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum38.html

Just click on that link and it will take you there. I'm really glad you didn't take your own life and as I said to you previously, I'm sure you only wanted the unrelenting pain from crs to end...not your life. Sometimes it's hard to feel the love from others because of depression. You aren't alone Clownie...these forums are a great source for support and information.

[Wren]

Hi Clownie -- I sure know what you're saying and where you're coming from. ... I understand. So please talk to me. I'll listen and I PROMISE that other people, kind people, good people will listen and talk too.

This is ONE place where people DO care .... I PROMISE

[KathyM]

Hi Clownie

I'm glad you learned it's not the answer to life's problems and got a second chance to "play the game" again. Impulsively hopping into your car can possibly lead you down a path you'd rather not follow. I don't know your circumstances, but in general I would say it's probably not a good idea if you want your situation in life to improve. Most times we unknowingly pack and take along with us all the "ugly" baggage we're trying to leave behind.

Keep it as a dream though (even as an option). In the meantime, prepare and plan for the road you'd prefer to travel. Success at life in a good way is the BEST revenge against people who have tried to hold you down in one way or another.

Just my two cents. Welcome to the forum.

[clownie]

My hubby is bipolar so I told all his pills as that was all the pills we had in the house his biplor pills and my anidepression meds. I never feel like i can just be my self at all any more to many people are alway telling me who I should me. I have forgotten who I am anymore.

[Alffe]

for Clownie....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ls7il...eature=related

[who moi]

I, and many others, are very very glad that YOUR suicide didn't work...and that you are here trusting us enough to talk about it...

I think most of us if not all of us can understand the low self-esteem and self-worth...

I am battling that right now cause just yesterday, I finally broke down and cried hard in da wife's arms and wondering why I am feeling this way when I am the happiest I've ever been...

I haven't been able to really cry except to shed a little bit of tears here and there...and that hard, heart wrenching cry was really good for me...

I have finally taken her advice and am going to see a Psychiatrist soon....

I have not been able to post cause of the way my heart has been closing...

but I felt the need to come here and tell you that you are important...you may NOT feel so, but you are...
and that I will be sitting here thinking of you and holding you in my thoughts...

and these other fine folks will help hold you...whenever you need....

not sure if you are seeing anybody professional or if that you don't believe that they would help or maybe you have felt burnt by any pdocs...

but, please don't give up and keep on trying...please KEEP, on trying...

[KathyM]

Sounds like you've got gnats flying all around you. Perhaps a little road trip or healthy getaway might give you a little time to re-introduce and reconnect yourself to you.

If not, you can hang around with the goofy people here and hold contests on who can laugh the hardest without peeing. We don't make light of suicide, but we all agree it's important to laugh once in awhile. At the same time, we are also able to compose ourselves and speak seriously on serious matters.

[clownie]

I'm not sucidal right now. I'm just really depressed.
My life is a huge mess. I can't seen to be able to fix it. Every single part of my life is falling apart right now. Parts of my life will never get better it has been destroyed for ever.