I havent felt this horrible in a long time the thoughts of ending things keep poping in and out of my mind. I need some strength and some hugs. I dont feel like talking about why I feel the way I do just that i feel really bad useless and I feel like I am nothing right now.
I have a full plate that is over flowing. I will be back here when i can. I jst want good thoughts not the bad ones in my head right now.
so if i give you all a hug can i get one back??
t.y.
PEACE
BMW p.s. please no one call because calling me that will just make things worse for me right now ..posting to/for me will help more then any of you could know. thank you for understanding and for caring!

well, I was just about to log off...glad I saw this...

(((((((((((((((mallowhaid))))))))))))))

Hi BMW, you can give me all your bad thoughts because I am feeling pretty strong right now. In return I will give you all my happy thoughts because I always have happy thoughts to share.

Keep on keepin on the my little chicklit. Prayers, good warm thoughts are surrounding you right now...can ya feel them?? ...Sue

buttercream roses~

with love~

now who does that monkey remind you of?

whatever i can do, let me know. love you bmw.

You are always in my thoughts and prayers sis.....

BMW, you know what you mean to me without me saying the words. I too am having a bad day, but I want you to know that you're in my thoughts and prayers, just as sure as I am that I'll be in your's when you read about what's happening in my life.

.............

I feel like the moon that I see in the sky tonight. It is so full and it is trying to shine so big and bright but the dark thick clouds fall over it before it can be. It gets wrapped in clouds and hidden. So that all I can see is a faint hint of its true big full bright lovely moon self.
I am tired of being degraded and put down. I am tired of walking on eggshells. I am tired of being ridiculed so that what ever I do is never the right thing. And everything I do is always wrong. I am afraid to do anything because I do not want to be put down or made fun of. I don’t have much confidence in my self or anything I do any more. I want to cry but if I cry I know I will hear look at you you’re a grown adult crying like a baby. I don’t even feel like part of my family anymore. I just have been put down and my emotions have been stretched way way to far. And the other person doesn’t even seem to care they seem much happier and content when they make me feel this way and I am like w.t.f. This isn’t who I married I don’t do this to you. I don’t understand life sometimes. I guess it is just like the moon maybe that gets full and tries to shine even if the clouds try to choke it in darkness. Sometimes a tiny little silver beam escapes bouncing off the thick clouds .
and that tiny little silver shard of light is what i am hanging on to. thank you all for being my tiny shard of light!!!!