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12-03-2008, 11:30 AM | #21 | |||
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Young Senior Elder Member
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Handling the Holidays
Do what you think will be comfortable for you. Remember, you can always choose to do things differently next time.
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"Thanks for this!" says: | Nik-key (12-03-2008) |
12-03-2008, 12:05 PM | #22 | |||
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Senior Member
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Alffe thank you for posting this. I have read and re-read it many times along with other such pieces. It isn't much help, but I imagine nothing could be right now.
I wanted to comment on the candle "ritual" I think it is a nice idea to light a candle, but I don't like the fact that you blow the one out that represents your loved one. I didn't like it when I saw it on the webcast either. We decided not to do that. Instead on Thanksgiving we lit a single candle and left it burning. We placed it next to his picture, I liked it better. What "feels" best for me, and what I would truly like to do is go away somewhere and be alone. That isn't going to happen though!
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******************************************** More Than One Soul Dies In A Suicide . ******************************************** . |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | Alffe (12-03-2008) |
12-03-2008, 01:04 PM | #23 | |||
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Young Senior Elder Member
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*grin...it didn't really do much for me either Nikki but I figure they are the professionals and it might help someone.
How about this............ First Holiday We lit a candle today, To fill the empty place where you should be but aren't... I stood with my hands cupping the flame and felt the heat... the energy... empty space between the fire and flesh Nothing visible Nothing to see.. And yet I knew it was there - the energy touched my skin. And so it was with you today. Nothing visible -nothing to see. And yet I knew you were here. Your energy touched my heart. by Sandy Goodman Author of Love Never Dies for Nikki .......
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12-03-2008, 02:05 PM | #24 | |||
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Senior Member
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Ok, yep that did me in!
((Alffe)) That was beautiful and I thank you for sharing with me I agree, that reading these things are important and it may help someone. It did help me the first time I read it. It's "charm" has just worn off I am going to copy that poem and share it with my family when we light the candle at our Christmas gathering. I could relate so much to it. I kept looking to that flame all through dinner, it did bring me a measure of comfort. Again, Thank you
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******************************************** More Than One Soul Dies In A Suicide . ******************************************** . |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | Alffe (12-03-2008) |
12-04-2008, 12:01 PM | #25 | |||
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Young Senior Elder Member
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I received a copy of the letter my neighbor is sending out this year..she felt that she had to thank their friends and family for the support they've received since their son took his life last March...and ours had a personal note on it that brought me to tears. She said this was hard enough to do but could not send out Christmas cards.
I'm relieved to have news of her and I know that she'll be so glad when this first year is finally over.
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12-04-2008, 02:26 PM | #26 | |||
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Senior Member
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((Alffe)) I am so glad you heard from her. I know you were worried. Poor dear, my heart breaks for her
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******************************************** More Than One Soul Dies In A Suicide . ******************************************** . |
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12-08-2008, 05:03 PM | #27 | |||
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Young Senior Elder Member
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I got this today...it would definitely be closer than going to Madison, Wisconsin but I'm still old...*grin
http://view.email.globalcloud.net/?j...65077877147976 I'll have to think long and hard.
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"Thanks for this!" says: | mistiis (12-11-2008) |
12-08-2008, 06:50 PM | #28 | |||
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In Remembrance
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I think that many people hide their thoughts and plans of suicide becaue they are ashamed of it, just as Mistis talked about being ashamed to cry. It's smart to always pay attention to the little things...the questions and words which seem out of place, or a subtle change in personality. We all have things we do which we don't want to share with other's, right? Well, for some, suicide is just one of those things. As much as we think we need it, we're also afraid of being judged as a wimp just for mentioning it to anyone, or worse, being patronized or made fun of. And some people are just so darn good at hiding their feelings. It often comes as a complete surprise because of that.
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12-08-2008, 08:17 PM | #29 | |||
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Senior Member
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Thank you for bringing that up Idealist. I have been wanting to bring this up for some time now and just haven't. It took a great deal of courage for me to post my pic. I really didn't want to do it. But, what I wanted people to see is that that is the 'face' of suicide. Someone may look at that and would wonder, why????????? I am very good at hiding my feelings, and my pain, both emotional, and physical. I can feel really really bad, and people won't see it not even my pdoc, or the counselor, and psychologist that I use to see. They don't see a problem. In fact, they usually start to tell me about theirs. So funny, but not really. This is not a strength, I don't think. To them I appear strong, and confident, while inside I am dying. Something I need to resolve.
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LOVE IS ALWAYS THE ANSWER........ . "Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?" Thoreau ~ You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving. ~ |
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12-10-2008, 05:23 PM | #30 | |||
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Young Senior Elder Member
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Quote:
I so agree with that Idealist...suicide can be such a conversation stoper. And being judged just sucks!! But!!! We have to talk about it, we have to let people know how much pain we are in...no one can help us if they don't know how we feel. What's a little embarassment on both sides of the conversation compared to the possibility of finding some "hope"...that elusive thing with feathers..*grin and there is always the possibility that in sharing what we are feeling...we might find some support.
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