[jestersnow72]

I am really feeling bad today. I lost my boyfriend to suicide one month ago. He hanged himself with me on the phone. I had just broken up with him for personal reasons but was still in love with him. He told me on the phone that he made up his mind that he was not going to live his life without me. I would have went back to him if he would have just waited. I don't understand how he could have really gone through with this. Why did he do this to me? I am so hurt and feeling so much guilt and pain. When the police finally got into the house he had been hanging for an hour and was brain dead. It took me 4 days to pull myself together to go to the hospital. Right after I left he died. He was waiting on me. I have so many unanswered questions that will never be answered. How can I go on living this way with so much pain?