I KNOW the answer!! But my heart is having a hard time listening....

and his son isn't answering my phone call....hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Not like I am on enough pins and needles? acccck

I couldn't agree more. This is a timely gift and much needed for you all.

Dear Nik...I get where you are, I been there, not with a spouse...with my Mom. It will be many emotions overwhelming you, and no matter how much you would have tried to prepared, it would still be tough.
I was also, wanting to accept one place for Mom to reside, and was both glad and sad, when she was accepted.

It is gonna be alright...lots here saying prayers for all of you. The doggies maybe can visit some days.....all will fall into it's proper place.

Dearest Nikki....

I have but a virtual hug to offer () and to let you know that I understand that first step is a doozy....

I offer my hand to help you step and I know I'm not alone...you will have many hands to hold you and keep you steady as you go.

The most important decisions we have to make in life are never easy. And decisions are NEVER easy when we have to make it for someone that we love and care for...we want the best for them.

Nikki... you are a strong, brave, and loving woman. I don't have much to offer as I have never been in your shoes... I will keep you and Lynn in my prayers and trust that God will guide you and comfort you in this stressfull time.


With Much Love,
Abbie

Dear Lynn,

when your beloved nik-key showed us your weeding photo, we saw a man with such a content smile that would make anyone envious...

when she shared with us the pain that you are going through, it curled our toes and tugged at our hearts...and at times, made us shed some tears...

when there is such strong love between two people, it is hard to let the other person go because that just is...

when one mixed mud with water to form clay, it would be hard to separate the water from the mud especially when the mold has been broken and the clay has been reshaped again and again as you two walked through the life of love and now that clay is so mixed with tears and love and more tears and more love that it is now so bonded that no one would be able to break that...

so now there you lie, in a state where you are of unknown...nobody can truly say if one thing is better for you or the other because no one truly knows...

one can only rely on what your actions and reactions are and even that, has now become hard to distinguish...

but I know somewhere, deep in your heart as you must love Nik so very much that even though you may NOT appear to be able to tell her, that it IS in there somewhere...and that in your deepest of hearts...that you'd want nik to do the right thing...you'd want her to look after herself...

you would want to communicate the love that you have for her, that we all have to let go sometimes...but that doesn't DIMINISH the love you two have for one another...And if you were at the other end of the earth, and she on this end, in which your heart to hers is bonded so deeply that nothing will separate you two, no matter what happens...

in the end, flesh is just flesh and soul is what binds us...and I know that is what you would want to tell her...because that's exactly what I would tell my beloved moss, when it is time to let me go if it shall ever come to this...

Lynn, I hope nik will make the right decision for you, for her, for the whole...and that whatever it is in the end, through all the tears and aches, that behind all that...that I KNOW that you'll want to tell her that in this life time, she has brought you such happiness that even if it was just for a split second...it is a lot more than a lot of people would ever have experienced...

I know that you'll tell her that there are people out there that would've never have find the type of love that you two have shared for all their lives...so that even though the duration of the love between you two are so short...that it was definitely candle in the wind...it shined brightly in the darkness...and that it will last as long as she and you both shall live AND BEYOND...

Lynn, I hope in your none communicative state, you'll be able to help nik make the right decision...and whatever that is...you'll be etched in her heart forever...no matter where you go...

Ohhh ((Moi)), you did me in When I saw you had written, I almost didn't read it because I just knew you were going to write something from that beautiful heart of yours As much as I did indeed cry, it warmed my heart more than I can tell you. Thank you for being you, and for sharing you with me

((Abbie)) you may have never walked in my shoes.. but you have much to offer! Thank you for your kind words and support.

((drea)) thank you, it is a mixture isn't it? This IS where we want him to be... but we don't want him to go. sigh

((doody)) ((doxie)) ((alffe)) ((Moss)) ((BMW)) ((koala)) ((Mistiis)) ((Curious))
You all helped make a very difficult night, better for me -with your show of love and support. Thank you!

I never did get a chance to talk to the son I was wanting to... but I did talk to his daughter, his sisters and I know how his other two boys feel.... all of us are in a reluctant agreement that we should place him now. We will wait to talk to his other son tomorrow before we make a final decision. I just want to make sure everyone is in full agreement.

Everyone is right, I will never be ready. It will be this hard no matter when we place him. But I can tell you this... when he cries, and asks me, why can't I go home? I just want to go home! It is going to finish me off

They are talking wed at the latest…..I will talk to the son in the morning... then I will place the call to the home..... then I will come here and fall apart. Just giving you all fair warning

Much love and many thanks Nikki

Nikki, find out if they will let the dogs visit. Even if it's just outside.

I have to log off now, but I'm going to PM you tomorrow.



A little plaque a dear woamn gave me as wedding gift that sits on my nightstand says: Before you go to bed, give your troubles to God, He will be up all night anyway.

and when you do, we'll be here waiting with open arms, nik...

Nik-key.....There are so many things i want to say but my thoughts are so scattered right now...I agree with what everybody else has said. I think this is the right thing to do. Gods timing does not always go with what we think it should be. Grab this opportunity and know you are doing what is not only best for Lynn but also for yourself.
I've found it takes about a week for them to adjust to their new environment. Setting up their room with familiar things will make the adjustment easier. Dont go out and buy new stuff, at least not for Lynn.
You will get through this and remember we will always be here to listen and support you.
Vicky

I am so sorry, Nikki. It is so hard. Besides parents, I have also had to make the decision to place my adult daughter in a facility. I miss her so much, but it is where she needs to be. Sometimes you can see it much more clearly after you place them.