hey pono,

I am so sorry that you're feeling this way...I think many of us can relate thus understand...

what IS hope...even by "definition" is hard to define what it is...

I think everyone has a different take on hope.

you know what I found hopeful? Is that you are taking the time to write out this post. That took a lot of energy, courage...and a bit of HOPE to get it posted...

whatever happened to you yesterday, please don't sit on it and let it eat you up. That's what usually blinds our hopes...

boy...talking about regrets, do I understand and can feel you...I've lived a life of regrets and build on one regret after another...

yet, there's this thing about learning from regrets and then build on it....

I think you're from Hawaii? We might be distantly related. Many many years ago, from the Canton (Guan Dong) province some of my ancestors came to the states and ended up in Hawaii. (but I think I'll call you my long cousin anyways. )

I wonder if you have that blood running in our blood that make us prone to regrets and then let it eat us alive...

I can't take away your regrets, but I can tell you that you can channel those regrets into something else...

when my dad first died, I was determined to change myself...

I went to a grocery store one day and the cashier was rude. I was really depressed and I beginning to go over the cycle of my father's death and my own regrets and guilts....

I stood there and thought all over to myself and I wondered maybe something has happened to her to be rude....

I told her that I hope she has a wonderful day and that whatever was bugging her, I with that it would get better...and I thanked her and I left...

I walked away feeling better....

rechanneling that regret, dear pono...maybe go somewhere and smile at a person that you know is rude....take some flowers to a very sick child that doesn't know you...walk by a stranger on the street who is begging and give him some food....not exactly those things but you know....

I love the way you post. It's unique and to the point. I wish I have that gift instead of typing out something long and dragging...

but I HOPE that your day(s) will get better and I HOPE that you'll find your self worth by seeing how many folks care about you...

((((BIG HUGS)))))

dear Pono, Wegots is right.

You have a gift of communicating that cuts through words
said and unsaid
You touch us
we feel like kindred souls
on the same journey with you
(((together)))

I hope you can also receive as profoundly as you give
we love you.
please hear our communication clearly
we love you.

We can't be there with you
But we're here for you.

You struggle to find hope
and in doing so, define hope
Because that is what it is
Courage to fight
Courage to keep reaching out
Courage to keep struggling...

Pono !!! Hello dear !!!

I have been where you are now several times....

I can only say, give it some time... dont try to force it much, hope will come back to you sooner or later... patience honey... I have wanted to quit more than once.... and then, I feel "hope" again...

We are here for you as everybody has already said

Just breathe... if you are feeling pretty bad right now, perhaps take a nap ?? I usually do that and when I wake up again, I feel way better.

XOXO

Thinking of you dear pono and I'm so very sorry it's so difficult for you right now. I reckon that some days it's better not to think about the big questions too much and just go minute to minute, hour to hour. I wonder if you have a friend there or loved one who could come to be near you. I don't mean even in the same room ... just someone near to you, Not to have any heavy conversations, but just to comfort you and be there for you should you need them today. I hope you're feeling safer now.

My dear friend pono sssss, please let me know how you are doing....I love you my friend.

i tried to reply yesterday morn but when tried to post, got msg about not being "logged in ' or authorized
... even tho showed i was logged in (username, etc) , had been able to get PM's, etc.
don't know it was me , my puter or ????


oops, hit submit key...too soon...

i'll try come back in a bit and write more....
maybe i'll even recall what i was trying to say & did write....
mahalo for ALL
you've done , and DO
for me and so many others....
aloha

is what i'd wanted to relay
and tried to get out yesterday
to thank each of you
for reaching out & touching me...
for showing so many different faces of Hope

there was more in posts lost
feel i need & want to (at least try) write more

Mornings are hard, and have become more so since my father's death
its still dark but hear birds
sun should soon be risin'

gonna try get cuppa & come back...

again THANKS All...

pono sister it is dark here too and the birds are chirping. I have to work today but am going to call you after I am done with work. sending you paryers and strength. chat with you later today.

pono

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIs9HFN7S58

David

I so enjoyed our chat this afternoon Sister Li.
Please remember know and believe YOU ARE NOT CRAZY!!!!
You ARE A SENSITIVE CARING WONDERFUL PERSON!!!!
I am so glad to be your friend. dont forget to relax and start making list one thing at a time.
Will message you later tonight...
We luv ya lots.


PEACE
BMW