NeuroTalk Support Groups - Some Confusion

I am sorry for not posting lately. My right hand has been in much pain and hard for me to type. But I felt the need to answer a few questions and put my thoughts on this.

First of all, please know that I, myself, love that we're all different and have different views and it is what makes life interesting. And for those that do not like Sunshine Inn vs those that do that is all good. :)

put 10 names on the poll and we're going to have 500 opinions and that's why democracy rules. With that said, I, myself, will like whatever name is chosen. I am a go with the flow person myself and when I saw that input were wanted to name this place, that it was going to be FUN. :)

And what FUN it was...seeing all the fun names and brain juices flowing...it was fun...

FUN in an SOS forum...could that be possible?

I think the SOS forum started sometime between 1999 and 2000.

It started in a place called braintalk(that used to be MGH) and migrated here to NT.

I remember lurking at the SOS forum for awhile before I even had the nerve to jump in.

It took a few months...I can remember reading and intrigued and reading about what people were going through. On a taboo subject that I was deathly afraid of discussing in real life.

I can remember the healing that went through with the anger of the survivors and I can remember how I was afraid to jump in even though I was going through the thought process. I had a rep for being a joker already...

I am not sure how I was perceived but 10 years later, here I am, still here...maybe some will say it's a curse and maybe some will say what the heckit...but either way, I am still around...and if it wasn't FUN, trust me. I would've been gone already...(hmmmmm, don't some of you start getting ideas. :) )

WHY am I still around...

LOVE

unconditional love...love that went through anger, being angry at each other, misunderstandings, saying too much, or too little...

love that went through how could you do it, how can you think that, then just like any NORMAL family. We come back to the dinner table and Alpho serves us some tear soup and we all hug each other again...

will we ALL ever agree on everything...ridiculous if you ask me...

will we love each other and embrace one another? Don't anyone question that... :) Of course we will! :)

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My thoughts on members vs. non members. Now, don't get peeved or angry at my view, please...

for me, FOR ME, I cannot say that if a member posts 10 times that would make a person a regular member.

I cannot say that someone that only lurks here could NOT be consider a member. If they are registered at NT and are afraid to "jump" right in at the SOS forum. I definitely would consider them a member.

I cannot say that ALL lurkers here are members. Because as we know that there are spammers, people that want to do research, someone just happens by here because they did a search.

At the same time, I cannot put a NUMBER to a post to define who is a member.

But those are just my thoughts...

here are my questions.

If someone lurks here today and tomorrow, someone in their family committed a suicide. Do they become a member tomorrow or were they a member today?

If suicide is more prevalent than we realized. Some say only be 2 or 3 degrees of separation. That would mean that every 2nd or 3rd person that we know would know someone that committed suicide.

Then, how do we dictate who then becomes a member or not?

As a community that is trying to grow. I personally don't think we should put posting makes one members vs none-posting make non-members...

For one, it would be hard to distinguish who is whom.

for two, I think it would make others a bit more intimidated to come in and get their feet wet.

once again, these are my views. I am not saying they are right. They are just my views.. :)

I like to think, in a pollyanna way, that a person that has come to this forum. Didn't come here by accident(even if they did, it was by some divine chance). Maybe it didn't happen to them today. But perhaps it would be tomorrow or a few months or few years down the road. That if they DID come here today, that they would remember it down the road if they should chance upon this awful monster. And that they would know how to find us again.

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Who asked for this forum?

"moi" :)

why....

it's hard to put it all into words as to why I asked for this forum but I am going to try...

there were(still are) some private conversations of my talks with folks that lurk here but feel like they are just afraid to step in and talk. I try to encourage them but I always end with: ONLY WHEN YOU'RE READY to them. Because we all know that if we're not ready to talk. We're just not ready to talk.

at the same time, I am flattered and honored that they feel comfortable enough and trust me enough by talking to me about it in private.

nobody's ever said this to me. but I get the sense that shyness is one factor and the one of the other factors is that the person usually feel like their story isn't "important" enough as they read others suffering...

but I think everyone's story is just as important. EVERYONE....I want to dig out the story about the eagle and the dove again one day and maybe I will, but that's for another thread...

I am sure we all have folks that talk to us in private. Not just me. And I am sure we all have friends that tell each one of us that they might feel uncomfortable.

And I am always glad to see them to start posting and start to talk.

And even then, it can sometimes take awhile to fully open up.

I had thought that perhaps a subforum would be a good way for some of these members(on-lookers) to get their feet wet.

Sometimes, for some people, it is easier to get into a forum by "easing" in vs. just getting into the heavy stuff...

that's what's good about life, that we're different....

but it was never my intention to take the FUN out of the regular SOS forum.

like Lara said, there's bound to be some serious in the fun and some fun in the serious.

this is where the personal side of this request came in. For those topics that can get really OT.

Maybe we want to talk about gardening or mozzies...can't see that as a header in the regular SOS forum:

"OT, my peonies are being eaten by my cat" ;)

Before somebody says: But there's social chat.

How many of us feel comfortable OUTSIDE of SOS forum?

I rarely see a lot of the regular SOS members venture outside of the SOS forum.

So, I wondered if by human nature that we associate "HOME" with "COMFORT"

thus, I requested for this subforum based on these reasons as well as others.

I didn't think it was going to happen so quickly. I asked about it in the morning and by night, it was up. I had thought that it would be brought out and be discussed and then we'll talk about it and weigh in and blah blah blah...

and then if it happened it happens if it doesn't, it doesn't...

but that's OK too. ALL things happen for a reason and I am glad that it went up and gave us chances to talk about it and such while it's up vs talking about having it up.

And if tomorrow I come and the subforum is gone, that would be fine too...it will NOT take away the love that I have for you all.... :)

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Love....

it's hard to argue that we can love someone through a puter screen..and while I can't speak for everyone, I can't deny that I love you guys.

When you share your pain, I cry with you. When you share your jokes, I laugh with you. When you ache, I ache for you. When you smile. I grin with you...

it's heart tugging...or as fury would say, it's heart chugging...

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IF this forum is to stay. Then, whatever everyone decide is fine. I think people shouldn't be afraid to say what names they like or don't like. I think folks shouldn't get offended (Not saying anyone is offended, :) ) if a name they've chosen is stated as not being liked.

My mother loves to eat the fat of the pork. I can't stand it. When I was young. She always made us eat what's infront of us. Pork was cheap and it was a regular meal.

I fought her on eating these things. I cried, I cringed, she yelled, and she cried. We were both frustrated.

At the end of the meal. I still love her and she still loves me. :)

You all are such intelligent folks. I value ALL your opinions and the differences of it. I truly love it when someone can rebut me and make me think. I love it when another POV is thrown out there...

I love it that we can disagree and at the end of the day, pull together for each other and still hug one another and love like no others...

that's what makes this SOS forum so awesome and unique...

((((((BIG HUGS)))))) for the broom....

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my right hand is really hurting and I apologize that I won't be around until my hand gets better...

if you have gotten angry at this post. Please know that I totally respect your POV if you found that I disagreed with you.

If you feel like I have betrayed you by mentioning what I've stated. Please know that I wasn't betraying anything confidential.

I treat confidentiality seriously. :)

Before I leave, I just wanted you all to know that you are all special...in your unique ways...

please forgive me to not respond until my hand gets better....

and whatever the outcome....I am ready to just come back to my family and embrace you all...

with love,

moi... :)

PSS, will come back and hit thanks button later... :)

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what embodies the SOS forum is NOT the name (like jaded2nite said) but the special loving folks that brings it to life...

just had to come back and add this...leaving now with a TEAR and A BIG SMILE... cathill Oatbran