I see you have located our crs forum clownie...welcome to NeuroTalk and I'm sorry for all the pain you are in. I'm sure taking all those pills was your way of trying to end the pain...not your life. Sorry people are judging you.

Hi Clownie. I'm glad you found us, and I also am sorry about your family not understanding.

Please do join everyone in SOS anytime! I hope this finds you pain free today.

I, too, feel like ending everything. I HATE living and pray every second to die; I've tried many, many times. I have a disease that's supposed to kill me in 7-10 years and so that gives me 3-5 years since being diagnosed but that is not fast enough. I want it NOW!!!!!!! I can't stand another day of this - I just can't. No person, no fame, all the money in the world wouldn't be enough to keep me here for ten seconds more....I hate it that much. Yes, I do have a family and, no, even that doesn't matter right now. They'd be much better without me at this point. People get tired of a sick person and so I've gone back to being the person I used to be - who rarely talked and never left the house.

Nothing is important right now. I have no control over anything, so I decided to stop eating....so far, so good. At least I have TREMENDOUS control over that and it makes me feel good. I just can't wait 3 years, let alone 5!!!!!

Hippiechick

One of our wonderful members posted a thread just for you...

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/thread54261.html

I hope you will go take a look there. I am going to go and
post to you there as well. I just wanted to let you know I
and others are here if you want to talk

(((Hippiechick))) please come back and at least say 'hey'! Lots and lots of hugs waiting for you at sweet Nik-key's link above!

And believe me, every post to you is sincere.

I've never really talked about my attempt. That was 23 years ago now. My mom pretends it never happened, so I guess I just follow suit. But it was real, very real. I was 18. I went to the store, bought a bottle of sleeping pills, went to my friends house (she was at work), and downed them all. When I started feeling the effects of the pills, I got scared and called a friend. He came and took me to the hospital. I had to have my stomach pumped which is a horrible experience. I was put on a 72-hour psychiatric hold. I ended up being court-ordered into therapy. I eventually worked through it. Many times since then, especially with my pain, I have wished that I would just die. But, I would never, ever do that again. Why? Because I love Jesus and suicide is a sin that would send me straight to hell. And hell is real and not a place I intend on going when I die!! And no, this decision is not easy, in fact, it's very difficult because it makes me feel trapped when I get depressed, knowing that is never an out for me limits my options. So that is my story in so far as this subject goes!

I'm so glad you failed in your suicide attempt dear Cheetafam. I lost a son to suicide many years ago and it changed our family forever. I also love and believe in Jesus and in a forgiving God, who I believe was with our son when he completed this act.

Welcome to the forum where we talk about "it" and our feelings. Talking about "it" helps us heal. When we don't talk about it...there's an elephant in the room.

You should be proud of yourself. Look at what you've been through and conquered in spite of your mom and all her baggage.

Hello Lifesaver

quote 'Thanks for reading---hate to meat anyone under these circumstances, ever.
lifesaver--but some days I sink like a stone.' end quote


Good job i can swim good then......when your stone is sinking i'll dive in and bring you back too the surface....you just need to shout out

David....

hearing this is so amazing i love when people have that one thing in there life holding them down and it makes them feel good.. i just need to find mine...