I, too, feel like ending everything. I HATE living and pray every second to die; I've tried many, many times. I have a disease that's supposed to kill me in 7-10 years and so that gives me 3-5 years since being diagnosed but that is not fast enough. I want it NOW!!!!!!! I can't stand another day of this - I just can't. No person, no fame, all the money in the world wouldn't be enough to keep me here for ten seconds more....I hate it that much. Yes, I do have a family and, no, even that doesn't matter right now. They'd be much better without me at this point. People get tired of a sick person and so I've gone back to being the person I used to be - who rarely talked and never left the house.

Nothing is important right now. I have no control over anything, so I decided to stop eating....so far, so good. At least I have TREMENDOUS control over that and it makes me feel good. I just can't wait 3 years, let alone 5!!!!!