I agree with Alffe!!!!

This person is way below you!! You deserve much better and I know if you stop looking... you will find Mr. Right!!!!

You are a beautiful young lady with GREAT strength!!!!! I know it's not easy hun.. but you are MUCH STRONGER than you give yourself credit for!!!

I wish I could reach out and slap this guy right in the back of the head...
Do not give him the satisfaction of only talking to you on HIS terms... Nope.. if he contacts you... please hang up or turn your back and walk away!!!

He doesn't realize what he lost... but the best thing is... YOU WIN... this guy will eat his heart out when he realizes you have moved on!!!

Remember to breathe... stop and smell the roses.. you just may be surprised how beautiful they smell now that the air has cleared of him.


Abbie

I just found out my own sister wants nothing to do with this anymore. She doesn't want to offer patience or consideration.

I'm hurt beyond belief.

Everyone is leaving me.

Manda....

Sweetie, I know things are hard to understand and sometimes it's pretty hard to see what is going on within ourselves. It often takes someone else to point out that we need help.

Please understand that unless our family and friends are Psychiatrist, Psychologist, Social Workers, or Counselors they are simply not equipped to help us or even deal with what we are going through.

Please don't believe for one second that you sister, other family, and friends don't care... this simply is not true... they do love you and want you to get help.

It's quite likely that they are hurting because they can't help... they may also be feeling or picking up on your pain. If this is the case and most likely it is...they want you to get better but know they can't fix you.

Friends and family will sometimes push us away... push us into getting professional help.

I know seeking out professional help is hard... it was the last thing I wanted as I believed I could get better all by myself... I refused to admit that anything was wrong even when deep down I knew there was.

As you know... my friends and some family pushed me away and slammed the door. I know now that it was simply self-preservation on the part of my friends and family.

I didn't NOT see it that way for a long, long time... I felt that my friends and family wanted me to go away... to disappear.

It took a friend to tell me..."Look, you have an appointment with the mental health hospital... you have a choice... go and get help OR don't go. But if you don't go... we will no longer be a part of your life... ever again." My friend ended up driving me there as she knew and I knew I wasn't going to go on my own.
I know now that in some form or another that my friends had told to get help for 2 or 3 years... I just refused to listen. I was under the belief that I could make myself better.

When I finally listened... it was "almost" to late.

It's now a little over a year later... Somehow word spread to my friends that I was working on me... I now hear from my all of the friends who pushed me away... Yes, I still have my walls up because I don't want to get hurt as I am sure they most likely do also.

One step at a time... that's the best I can do but I am doing it and so can you!!!!

Manda... You are one of the STRONGEST young ladies that I have ever met... you reached out for help!!! Keep reaching, please. If you haven't spoken to your doctor about how you are feeling....please do. It may be that you need a switch in medicine. You may also need to talk with someone to work out your feelings... You may need a combination of both... I do.

It won't be easy... I won't lie... it takes a lot of hard work but I know you can do it!!! I believe in you!!!

Keep talking with us... we understand... but please also seek out medical assistance. If you don't have medical insurance there are many clinics that have a sliding scale and will work with you regarding payment. There are also many pharmaceutical companies that have assistant programs where you can get you medicine at a deep discount or even for free.

You are in my prayers!!!

Abbie

Abbie--that was an incredible post. I will refer to it all the time. I'm trying and I think of your words (and many other people's) all the time, so I hope you never give up on me because I do value your thoughts and prayers.

i just can't shake this thought process:
if i kill myself, the look on those two guys faces when they get a phone call from my parents. then they'd know i'm not faking this and that they shouldn't have done this to me and left me alone.

IF THE 2 GUYS ARE THE JERKS YOU TELL US THEY ARE

then sadly their response will be.....'I told you she was Crazy'

DONT GIVE THEM.........THAT OPPOTUNITY....OR SATISFACTION....

RISE ABOVE THIS ANGER

DAVID

ugh, i feel crazy

thanks for the post david, i'll try and remember it whenever i have those thoughts.

IM sorry but here comes a direct question................


other than your prescribed medication do you take anything else.............prescribed or not.........

please be honest with me?

The reason i ask..............is................Abbie gave you a strong message of hope....................sadly your reply after...............your intial response........was as though you never heard what she said................

you may now think i/m being harsh............but understand one thing experience tells me...............when people dont listen.............anything can happen.................[you have to see that hope..is possible...forget other people and concentrate on yourself...............you are the only person [1] capeable or [2] available to get yourself out of this miserable pit you find yourself in...............waiting for others close too you to help can be an awfull waiting game..............the only looser will be you.............waiting too or hoping someone will noitice your pain...................is not an option when your in pain............its yourlife.......your pain....................dont EVER GIVE ANYONE THE SATISFACTION OF saying.................'i knew they were odd'


You have problems......................you have options too address these problems...........address them today..........................tomorrow [does not] never come......................

I do honestly care

David

Dearest Manda...

Please don't think this way... Taking our lives because someone else has chosen to not be a part of our lives is simply not worth it...

Sometimes people just no longer want to be a part of our lives... As much as it does hurt.... People move on.... I've had people in my life that chose to go down a different path. Some, our paths have crossed again... some, our paths are running pretty parallel to each other at the moment... and others, I've learned that our paths are most likely to never cross again.

It was hard for me to understand this...but I have learned the hard way that some things are meant to be and other things are not.

I have a magnet on my door frame that says... people come into our lives for a moment, a season, a reason, or a lifetime. I have come to see and you will too...that the lifetime one...well, those people are few and far between.

Please know... these guys that no longer want to be a part of your life are just using your "illness" as a lame excuse... you said one already was dating someone else.... cool...let him move on... you don't need someone in your life that is that way. The other guy as rough as it may sound...he may just not be that in to you... and that's cool too... you don't need someone who is or will play games with your heart, mind, and soul. You WILL find someone that thinks you hung the moon.

Please don't fret over these two guys... and killing yourself because you can imagine their faces... not good hun... they may not have the reaction you are imagining. (Sorry... don't mean to be rough...just being honest)

Taking your life because of someone else... not worth it hun... who knows.. Mr Right may be just around the next corner... maybe you already pass him every day and don't even know it....

I had a friend tell me once while I was teetering on the edge of choosing to live or die... She said...If you think by taking your life it won't hurt someone else... you are VERY WRONG. She went on to say that even if I physically didn't hurt someone else in taking my life... I would still cause many people severe pain.

What my friend told me now makes much sense to me... all you have to do is read Alffe's story, or Nik-key's, or the numerous others here that have lost a family member or dear friend to suicide.... This is the kind of pain you would be leaving behind for your friends and family to deal with... I know you don't want to cause them pain...

The people here who have lost a loved one or friend to suicide give me strength as I know now that I DO NOT want to cause my family and friends that kind of pain and anguish.

I won't lie... I have numerous suicide attempts in the last 5 years and suicidal thoughts are with me every day...sometimes many times a day.

It is my choice to act on these thoughts or not. Many times I feel I don't have the strength to go on... When these feelings hit me... I remember my friends on here, or I listen to music that calms my soul, or I think of my family and friends... even though many times I don't think they would care... I know deep in my heart that they do.

Please know... you can count me as someone who cares... I have walked a similar path as yours....I'm still on the path just a little further down the path as you...but I will gladly turn around and come to where you are on this path just to help you.

You're gonna make it... many people here care about you... all you have to do is reach out... we'll grab your hand and prop you up... we are here for you. We understand... Some people here have lost a dear one to suicide... others are like me and you.

I think it takes all of use to understand this big old elephant that sits in the middle of the room... but it's ok... as long as we talk about the elephant in the room...we can all make it through another day.

Remember one day at a time... if you have to---one breath at a time...


Abbie

i did hear what she said. i just can't shake loneliness right now. i don't know. i do have a lot of hope, i just get excited to tell people about this hope, and then when i go to tell them about it, i look around and no one is there to get excited with me. does that make sense?

i know i shouldn't rely on anyone, but i don't know where to begin on my own. so pitiful, i know.

and no, i do not take anything else. this is how lost i am. i'm not faking this.