I am torn between two friends and I need some advice and since you guys are all so wise...I need your help.

Here is the deal:
I worked for a company, and I got royally dumped...that is a very long story, and not the reason for my question so I move on. While I worked there, I hired a wonderful guy who became our best employee. Worked long hours with no overtime, took a pay cut the same day I was let go, his entire life has become centered on this job because they demand himt o be on call at any time of the day or night and in return they give him a tiny amount of pay and they only partially reimburse his expenses. While he and I worked together we became very good friends.

A friend of mine came up there after I told her we weren't hiring sweet talked her way into my boss' office and was offered a job. She is now doing the job I was let go from, along with another position that wasn't there when she started. She also only works 3 days a week, lies about her time, and is usually late or has to leave early on any of those 3 days. This caused a big problem in our friendship. Then she applies for the management position with another location within the company and was turned down, and now I find out she is interviewing with corporate to take over role of the good employee.

Now this company is a horrible company which is poorly run by hormone controlled overage frat boys. Seriously, I turned down the VP for the sexual advances he made and 2 months later due to "corporate downsizing and economic set backs" I was let go. Anyone who has ever worked for this company will nto be surprised if they don't invent an excuse to get rid of the good employee and replace with my "friend".

I know that I have to let the guy know what is going on. I feel obligatede to at least give him a heads up. This kind of thing went on a lot when I was employed there where everyone else knew you were being replaced, but we were forbidden from telling you because we would be fired (This came in writing from management). But now that I don't work there, I no longer have these rules. So... How do I go about letting this guy know what is going on?

It sounds like it was a sub standard company, and the weirdos in control are doing what they do.

I'm sorry you had to work for such a place. You aren't in control of what went on, or continues to go on there.

These are bad situations but a fact of life in business unfortunately. I avoid companies and organizations like this, but I'm 51 years old.

I would just level with him and tell him like it is.

Be sure to things you think (lies, whatever, etc) are presented as maybes, possible, very possibles and things you know for sure are presented as facts. What are his feelings about the company? Can he look for another job while still there? Are there more opportunities while still employed. He sounds like a good employee but the company does not sound like a good place to invest too much time. I am 53 (age and wisdom?) and have worked at cruddy places and then good places, and oh what a difference. The other person doesn't sound like a very good or reliable friend. I once made a decision as I grew older (and wiser 8-) to lose toxic people from my life. Easy to say, harder to do.

I would not touch this with a ten-foot pole. I am sure this guy has an idea of what is happening. Giving him a heads up is not going to change the current climate he is employed in.

You did not file a sexual harassment suit so now, after being replaced, it come across as sour grapes. Sad but true. I know it really happened but although I am not a lawyer, that is my guess.

What benefit do you give this guy by telling him what you know? If you are his friend and you know he is crazy busy, tell him to start looking at the various websites for alternate employment when he does finish work.

I wish I could give you the go ahead to alert him but other than letting him vent and encouraging time to get his resume together, I would not trash the company. It will not do him any good and it could leave you open for litigation from this company.

And the other friend? Not sure what to say about her.

Well the good one didn't call me this morning like he was supposed to.... So I am going to let it go for now. The only thing I am afraid of is if I tell him he may do something stupid that would warrant getting fired and then have no recourse. It just makes me so mad how this company treats its employees. Which is why I have stayed out of it and not talked to either of them about work. But no worries, I do still have the naughty pics the nasty man sent me prior to me being let go. I just chose to take the high road and not persue it because quite frankly, it was a horrible place to work and I had no intentions of ever being involved with any of them (management) again.

But at the same time, he has given so much to this company. His entire life has been run by this place for 2 years, so much so that he took a pay cut and sold his house to opt for an apartment closer to work bc the pay cut was killing him. It just makes me mad.

You can give him a head's up, off the record if you get a chance. But the thing is, I believe what goes around comes around.

I worked at a decent place - decent until a little weasle was hired. We caught him red handed, stealing from us and the customers. The mgr did not have the back bone to do anything - not talk to him, not bring it up to the district.

I was starting at the time to get sick, and it ended with me losing my job. Very stressful....

Dh ahd a lot of stuff going on at his job too, a lot of ugly unethical things.


Both places went under. My co ended up in court. I had nothing to do with it, was too busy with my own probs to bother with those clowns. But karma has a way of righting wrongs.



We are both in a better situation now and better off for letting it all go.

Your friend needs to look out for himself. A lot of employers would be glad to have him.

Brains right. What goes around comes around. Maybe not in the time frame we'd prefer but it all happens in due time.....the way it's meant to be.

The place sounds like a horrible place to work. But he's an adult....and if he chose to uproot his life, sell his house and let them treat him like dirt then maybe he enjoys it. Some people aren't happy unless they're miserable or play the martyr. Not saying he is either but he needs to get a backbone and man up to the situation....if he's unhappy. If he's not then I'd say he's in the right place.

KISS Keep it Simple Sweetie.


Take your friend out, or invite him over and slip in "you know Ms so and so, isnt the upstanding girl she claims to be, and while I wont get into details with you, suffice it to say, she doesnt have your best interest at heart. Please protect yourself."

If your friend wants all the juicy details simply tell him that you dont have concrete proof, and quite simply the girl seems less than on the level, and as his friend you wanted to be sure that he was looking both ways before crossing the street.

Then...leave it up to HIM! its his lesson, his life, his job, and his work. As much as I am sure you want to protect this young man and give him the benefit of your inner circle knowledge, I bet he is much wiser to the situation than he lets on. A quick "heads up" is more than enough for most guys.

I certainly would not be friends with this woman. Not social, emotional or neighborly. Wave as you pass and say "gee, I am busy, can we talk later?" and keep it at that. After several attempts and being met with an "gee, I am so busy right now, can we talk later?" style conversations, attention hogs will go seek attention somewhere else. She wont hang around in a spot that doesnt provide any limelight.

Good luck.