Thanksgiving is coming. Relatives (his and mine) think it must be so sad for me and DH and the kids who I bring down along with me having a holiday by our lonesome. BUT they seem easier, more laughter filled, plenty of food we really like about Thanksgiving. My SIL did such a beautiful job on Thanksgiving - food, her family and mine, beautiful house, etc. But not for one second did I ever feel really good. The unspoken belief is the more you have round the table at Thanksgiving, the better. But the more chance of a fight!!!! At Christmas my kids open presents with us watching, a good breakfast, dinners planned for Christmas Eve and day itself. OUR family traditions. No getting kids in car to go to all the grandparents, no eating dinner twice so no one feels left out. Not as much guilt (a little, does that ever fully go away?). I'm older, 3 out of 4 grandparents gone, it gets easier to say no. Happy Thanksgiving to you all. I don't have to share my pumpkin pie, have some for later and maybe breakfast next day. Works for me.

Some of my people seem to think there's nothing wrong with me. "You look like you're doing pretty well...?" And I've replied, "Well, you won't see me, if I'm having a bad day because I don't leave the house."

So I don't really worry about what those folks think anymore. But still, I don't give a play by play because the other ones worry TOO much about how I am. The ones who have seen me when I'm really bad, because when I don't come out of the house, because it IS a bad day, they come to see me.



The ones who have seen me first thing in the morning. Who have seen when I can hardly use my hands, when it's all I can do to walk, when I sound like I've just chucked back a pint of tequilla, and I haven't lol.

I don't tell them really how bad it is because they do have a pretty good idea. They go easy on me, so I return the favor.

All I can say is thank goodness we don't have to do 4 celebrations for every holiday, like the old days!

No advice just hugs and understanding for you and them . I've been living the same struggle for 29 years. Mississippi mommas gotta luv'em....

Hey Jenn~ I understand the ole tug o' war holiday season, oh too well. I have never had a very warm relationship w/my MIL or SIL's, so when the holiday's approach, they expect us to show up when and where they say and the heck w/anyone else's schedule.

Well, this yr I just cannot deal w/their stressful holiday, so we are staying home and celebrating T'giving in our own home w/o having to deal w/all the stress, not to mention, being around 25- 30 people crammed in one home. Someone is always sick and we don't need that. We do, however, plan to see my MIL separately during the holiday wkend. AND, best of all~ we get all our leftovers and I don't even have to dress up. yahhh!

Only you know what you are up to and what you can and cannot handle. You have to take care of yourself and added stress is definitely not going to help.

take care Jenn and feel better soon.

I don't have much to add because the in-law problems during the holiday season are pretty common. People not understanding MS when they don't have is all too common . My issue with that problem is that some people don't seem to even WANT to try and understand .

I do want to say it"s great to hear from you, Jenn ! I hope your relapse winds down soon without leaving any lasting effects .

Hello Jennifer:
I here you loud and clear.You are blessed to have a supporting husband.Sorry your mother in laW dose not understand your MS.So far I'VE been lucky.But I have explained to the people I do see how I feel.I rarely go out.When I do it is for about 4 hours at a time.Then I fall in bed exhausted.I have Fibromialga among other things.My opinion is ,live your life for you not her.Invite them to your home.But tell then to each bring something to help out.Tell them you will need help and hope they understand.That is what I do.We had a lot of company this year.It was hard but they all helped.So it was a lot of fun.I've been to New Zealand and Vegas and Reno twice,It is very hard but I go any way.Do what you can when you can.
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