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Old 07-29-2010, 01:43 AM #1
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Tongue Make em Laugh!

Somewhere in the forum a Joke thread was started and not boosted up enough.

So, after having a really bad night, not being able to go for my much anticipated morning walk, worrying my poor mom.

I need a boost! So please enjoy and participate.
So steal, cheat, make up a joke..just Post!

Less moaning and groaning- more giggling and laughing..smiles allowed too

Shall we begin?

Murphy's Lesser Known Laws

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
__________________
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Plasmapheresis:2007
Cyclophosphamide :07/08
Rebif 44 :2008 -09
Copaxone: 2009 ongoing
atypical RRMS


NEVER assume!
I may not look sick but you should see my brain!
.

.


“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”
Anna Quindlen(American Author, Journalist)
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Old 07-29-2010, 02:06 AM #2
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Thumbs up Practice Safe Fax

Q. Do I have to be married to have safe fax?
A. Although married people fax often, there are many single people who fax complete strangers every day.

Q. How do I go about faxing a complete stranger?
A. Just ask them if they want to fax. If they do, they will give you their phone number.

Q. My parents say they never had fax when they were young, and were only allowed to write memo's to each other until they were 21. How old do you think someone should be before they can fax?
A. Faxing can be performed at any age once you learn the correct procedure.

Q. If I fax something to myself will I go blind?
A. Certainly not. As far as we can see.

__________________
DX:June 2007
Plasmapheresis:2007
Cyclophosphamide :07/08
Rebif 44 :2008 -09
Copaxone: 2009 ongoing
atypical RRMS


NEVER assume!
I may not look sick but you should see my brain!
.

.


“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”
Anna Quindlen(American Author, Journalist)
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Old 07-29-2010, 02:13 AM #3
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Talking Doctor Doctor

A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, "Well, I'm a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?"
The doctor answered, "Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it's difficult to describe pain."
"I know, but can't you give me some idea?" she asks.
"Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little..."
"Like this?"
"A little more..."
"Like this?"
"No. A little more..."
"Like this?"
"Yes. Does that hurt?"
"A little bit."
"Now stretch it over your head!"
__________________
DX:June 2007
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Copaxone: 2009 ongoing
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NEVER assume!
I may not look sick but you should see my brain!
.

.


“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”
Anna Quindlen(American Author, Journalist)
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Old 07-29-2010, 02:22 AM #4
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Default

A woman goes to her doctor complaining that she is exhausted all the time. After the diagnostic tests showed nothing, the doctor gets around to asking her how often she has intercourse.
"Every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday," she says.
The doctor advises her to cut out Wednesday.
"I can't," says the woman. "That's the only night I'm home with my husband."
__________________
DX:June 2007
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Rebif 44 :2008 -09
Copaxone: 2009 ongoing
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NEVER assume!
I may not look sick but you should see my brain!
.

.


“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”
Anna Quindlen(American Author, Journalist)
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Old 07-29-2010, 10:26 AM #5
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Default

Thanks for the giggles, MMW..
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~Love, Sally
.





"The best way out is always through". Robert Frost



~If The World Didn't Suck, We Would All Fall Off~
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"Thanks for this!" says:
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Old 07-29-2010, 12:59 PM #6
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Default

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
__________________
DX:June 2007
Plasmapheresis:2007
Cyclophosphamide :07/08
Rebif 44 :2008 -09
Copaxone: 2009 ongoing
atypical RRMS


NEVER assume!
I may not look sick but you should see my brain!
.

.


“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”
Anna Quindlen(American Author, Journalist)
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Old 07-30-2010, 08:55 PM #7
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Thanks for the laughs I'll never look at wednesday quite the same!
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Old 07-30-2010, 10:15 PM #8
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Default

For MMW and Polar Express:

Hear about the new rehab? It's called The Hokey Pokey. They have a sign out front, says TURN YOURSELF AROUND.
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Old 07-31-2010, 04:02 PM #9
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Default Oxymoron Notice the 'MORON'

  1. A Fine Mess
  2. A just war
  3. A little big
  4. a little pregnant
  5. A new classic
  6. Absolutely unsure
  7. Abundant poverty
  8. Accidentally on Purpose
  9. Accurate estimate
  10. Act Naturally
  11. Active retirement
  12. Actual reenactment
  13. Acute apathy
  14. Acute dullness
__________________
DX:June 2007
Plasmapheresis:2007
Cyclophosphamide :07/08
Rebif 44 :2008 -09
Copaxone: 2009 ongoing
atypical RRMS


NEVER assume!
I may not look sick but you should see my brain!
.

.


“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”
Anna Quindlen(American Author, Journalist)
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Old 07-31-2010, 05:27 PM #10
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mrkmyword mrkmyword is offline
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Default Corporate Stupidity

"As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks."
(Microsoft Corp. in Redmond WA)

"What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter."
(Lykes Lines Shipping)

"E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business."
(Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)

"This project is so important we can't let things that are more important interfere with it."
(Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)
__________________
DX:June 2007
Plasmapheresis:2007
Cyclophosphamide :07/08
Rebif 44 :2008 -09
Copaxone: 2009 ongoing
atypical RRMS


NEVER assume!
I may not look sick but you should see my brain!
.

.


“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”
Anna Quindlen(American Author, Journalist)
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