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07-29-2010, 01:43 AM | #1 | |||
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Junior Member
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Somewhere in the forum a Joke thread was started and not boosted up enough.
So, after having a really bad night, not being able to go for my much anticipated morning walk, worrying my poor mom. I need a boost! So please enjoy and participate. So steal, cheat, make up a joke..just Post! Less moaning and groaning- more giggling and laughing..smiles allowed too Shall we begin? Murphy's Lesser Known Laws Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
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DX:June 2007 Plasmapheresis:2007 Cyclophosphamide :07/08 Rebif 44 :2008 -09 Copaxone: 2009 ongoing atypical RRMS NEVER assume! I may not look sick but you should see my brain! . . “The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” Anna Quindlen(American Author, Journalist) |
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07-29-2010, 02:06 AM | #2 | |||
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Junior Member
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Q. Do I have to be married to have safe fax?
A. Although married people fax often, there are many single people who fax complete strangers every day. Q. How do I go about faxing a complete stranger? A. Just ask them if they want to fax. If they do, they will give you their phone number. Q. My parents say they never had fax when they were young, and were only allowed to write memo's to each other until they were 21. How old do you think someone should be before they can fax? A. Faxing can be performed at any age once you learn the correct procedure. Q. If I fax something to myself will I go blind? A. Certainly not. As far as we can see.
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DX:June 2007 Plasmapheresis:2007 Cyclophosphamide :07/08 Rebif 44 :2008 -09 Copaxone: 2009 ongoing atypical RRMS NEVER assume! I may not look sick but you should see my brain! . . “The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” Anna Quindlen(American Author, Journalist) |
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07-29-2010, 02:13 AM | #3 | |||
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Junior Member
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A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, "Well, I'm a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?"
The doctor answered, "Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it's difficult to describe pain." "I know, but can't you give me some idea?" she asks. "Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little..." "Like this?" "A little more..." "Like this?" "No. A little more..." "Like this?" "Yes. Does that hurt?" "A little bit." "Now stretch it over your head!"
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DX:June 2007 Plasmapheresis:2007 Cyclophosphamide :07/08 Rebif 44 :2008 -09 Copaxone: 2009 ongoing atypical RRMS NEVER assume! I may not look sick but you should see my brain! . . “The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” Anna Quindlen(American Author, Journalist) |
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07-29-2010, 02:22 AM | #4 | |||
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Junior Member
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A woman goes to her doctor complaining that she is exhausted all the time. After the diagnostic tests showed nothing, the doctor gets around to asking her how often she has intercourse.
"Every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday," she says. The doctor advises her to cut out Wednesday. "I can't," says the woman. "That's the only night I'm home with my husband."
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DX:June 2007 Plasmapheresis:2007 Cyclophosphamide :07/08 Rebif 44 :2008 -09 Copaxone: 2009 ongoing atypical RRMS NEVER assume! I may not look sick but you should see my brain! . . “The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” Anna Quindlen(American Author, Journalist) |
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07-29-2010, 10:26 AM | #5 | |||
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In Remembrance
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Thanks for the giggles, MMW..
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~Love, Sally . "The best way out is always through". Robert Frost ~If The World Didn't Suck, We Would All Fall Off~ |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | mrkmyword (07-29-2010) |
07-29-2010, 12:59 PM | #6 | |||
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Junior Member
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Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
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DX:June 2007 Plasmapheresis:2007 Cyclophosphamide :07/08 Rebif 44 :2008 -09 Copaxone: 2009 ongoing atypical RRMS NEVER assume! I may not look sick but you should see my brain! . . “The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” Anna Quindlen(American Author, Journalist) |
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07-30-2010, 08:55 PM | #7 | |||
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Junior Member
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Thanks for the laughs I'll never look at wednesday quite the same!
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"Thanks for this!" says: | mrkmyword (08-03-2010) |
07-30-2010, 10:15 PM | #8 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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For MMW and Polar Express:
Hear about the new rehab? It's called The Hokey Pokey. They have a sign out front, says TURN YOURSELF AROUND.
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Kicker PPMS, DXed 2002 Queen of Maryland Wise Elder no matter what my count is. |
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07-31-2010, 04:02 PM | #9 | |||
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Junior Member
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__________________
DX:June 2007 Plasmapheresis:2007 Cyclophosphamide :07/08 Rebif 44 :2008 -09 Copaxone: 2009 ongoing atypical RRMS NEVER assume! I may not look sick but you should see my brain! . . “The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” Anna Quindlen(American Author, Journalist) |
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07-31-2010, 05:27 PM | #10 | |||
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Junior Member
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"As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks."
(Microsoft Corp. in Redmond WA) "What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter." (Lykes Lines Shipping) "E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business." (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company) "This project is so important we can't let things that are more important interfere with it." (Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)
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DX:June 2007 Plasmapheresis:2007 Cyclophosphamide :07/08 Rebif 44 :2008 -09 Copaxone: 2009 ongoing atypical RRMS NEVER assume! I may not look sick but you should see my brain! . . “The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” Anna Quindlen(American Author, Journalist) |
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