[SallyC]

I've decided that I don't ever want to die. I don't want to suffer in old age, but I don't want to miss out on our future either.

I suppose that, if we are going to be part of a spirit world and still be able to watch our loved ones grow and prosper, then, OK.

The older I get, the more I think about the day I will not be a part of this world and I'm scared s**tless. I know that, in this fear, I am not alone, but that doesn't help me to overcome the fear.

Are any of you truly not afraid of dieing and if so, why. I guess it's just a simple fear of the unknown and no matter how many loved ones you have watched die, you won't know what it's like, till it's our turn.

How do you other Seniors and almost seniors, deal with the fear?

[kicker]

I know no one is going to ask my opinion. It's one of those things I'll have no control over. I'm not saying I'll go quietly but I know I don't want to be ancient with the added inconvenience of MS! Circle of life and all that but don't know how philsophical I'll be as it happens.

I'm not saying I can't imagine fear but know this is not up to me.

[Kitty]

I think everybody thinks about it. It's inevitable. It's going to happen to everyone.

I've watched a lot of my loved ones go before me. It'll never get any easier but I suppose my faith keeps me grounded. I'm not afraid of dying. I think what makes many of us uneasy is not knowing how we'll go. But I wouldn't want to know anyway.

One day we'll understand all about this process......but until then I'll just keep on keeping on till the good Lord needs me somewhere else.

[wkikta]

I have no fear of dieing. When it is my time, it is my time. I have attained pretty much everything I wanted. Only thing left is jump out of an airplane, within the next couple of years.

[SallyC]

Originally Posted by wkikta

I have no fear of dieing. When it is my time, it is my time. I have attained pretty much everything I wanted. Only thing left is jump out of an airplane, within the next couple of years.

Jump out without a parachute and take care of two birds with one stone..JK..

[doydie]

I'm not afraid of the dieing part. It's the journey between now and then that is so uncertain. Like my Mom and dieing. She says she is at peace and ready. But it's the several months of bone cancer and pain that she doesn't see yet. I think she just thinks her 2 daughters will take care of it just like we have taken care of everything else.

[lefthanded]

I try to imagine the Earth in all her glory, and with all her history . . . from way out in space. As I draw closer and closer it becomes apparent to me that there definitely is an ebb and flow, a growing and a dying, a rising and a falling. We know there were dinosaurs, and we know that they became extinct. But they left us fossils, and fossil fuels, and a lot to ponder about how they lived and what they looked like. We know there were Medieval knights and Lords and Ladies . . . and they are gone, but left us a legacy. We know we had great-great-great grandparents who are no longer living, but we are built from their DNA. And we look beyond our short lives to our children, and grandchildren, or to those whose lives we have touched gently or not . . . and we will be carried forward.

And I try to think of myself in the context of those who lived before me, and will live beyond me, and see that I am here for only so many days. I am like the oak leaf that opens green, transfers energy and nutrients to the tree, turns color and falls to the ground, and becomes food for the mushrooms at its roots. Without me the tree would not thrive, but there are many of "me." And we worked together to help that oak make acorns that season . . . and therefore we contributed to the continuation of life.


*********

What is most difficult for me is what we will leave behind. Right now we are cleaning out my mom's condo, as she has moved into an Alzheimer's care facility. I am the only sibling that can not get home to help, and I have no idea what has been sorted through. And it is just stuff. Am I supposed to want to keep her stuff? And is anyone else supposed to want to keep my stuff? It is those moments we shared while she was alive that are important . . . not the stuff. But how do we keep those moments alive?

[Dejibo]

not one of us is getting out of here alive. At some point, its a step we all must take. Ready or not, old or not, sick or not. used to scare the bejeebies out of me. thought about it for hours as a kid.

[Riverwild]

I am not afraid of dying. I'm afraid of dying alone. I have no children so I wonder who will be with me when I die.

I also don't want anyone to have to go through my stuff! I am determined to weed out all but the necessary things and a few mementos and books. I have a niece who has agreed to go into my computer and delete everything after notifying my contacts and saving any wanted pictures. I already gave out all the family mementos to members of my family who wanted them. I told the old man to give everything to whoever wanted it or to charity.

I made out a will and the usual POA and HCP. I have it set up so he has someone who will come in and check on him and clean if need be, if he is here after I am gone. He gets a life estate in my home and when he is gone it goes to family to do with as they wish, either keep it or sell it and the proceeds go to a trust fund to ensure that our family summer home continues on since many of us are scattered there and I am going there as well. I've got it fixed so none of the little buggers can change anything and do not gain anything if they lose the place, until only one or two direct descendants are left, if that happens.

I feel good that no one will have to deal with much of anything, but still wonder if any of it matters since I will be forgotten in a few years anyway! I've left a few hidden reminders at the family summer home to be discovered after I am gone but who knows if they will even care...They have their own trials to deal with, without me gabbling at them from beyond!

[Kitty]

River makes a great point. Do all you can to make things a little easier on those left to take care of the details.

After DH passed away unexpectedly I got a crash course in "final arrangements". I wasn't ready for it......and didn't do well. Four years later when both parents passed away I got a refresher course. Then three years after that my sister passed. I'm getting experienced in this now......and still don't like it.

I've made my Will. Made DS's my POA's. Made all my final wishes known...in writing...and made it legal. I want to be cremated. DS's don't want to talk about it which I can understand. So, I did the work for them before I go. This way, I get to have the last word.

One thing most folks don't think about is what happens to your bank accounts when you die. I want my sons to have access to them. Not now.....but when I die. I don't want them to have to wait and go through lots of red tape just to get what's theirs. So I took care of that with the bank. It was easy and, as I found out, very commonplace.

The more you do now to make sure your wishes are carried out then....the better you'll feel. An unexpected death is hard enough to deal with without having to make critical decisions at a time when your brain isn't prepared for it.