***first and foremost I do not want pity, this is not a pity party, it's just how I feel***

I'm in a bad place. Times are REALLY rough for me right now. It seems like nothing is going right. ANYWHERE in my life, except for family and Laura.

Laura has been out of work for 3 months and can't find a job. She surfs the job websites for hours every day. She can't hit the streets much because it's $50.00 to fill her tank and we can't afford the gas.

I'm really about to drop Facebook entirely. I noticed about a month ago that people didn't really reply to my posts, and I reply to almost everybody else's. Starting today I won't post a single ting on FB, I won't reply to ANYONES posts (except prayer requests) for 30 days, I will see if anyone notices I'm gone. I have like 94 "friends" and nobody IM's (chats) with me. Google has a new site, I'll open another thread about that, maybe that will be better.

Only TWO of my friends call me on a semi-regular basis. MANY friends haven't called me in months. I know everyone has busy lives but don't they ever say to themselves "I wonder how Dave is doing" They know I suffer with pain, I would think they would call or send an email. I am tired of being the only one to reach out. So I'm not doing it anymore.

Money is SO tight. I can't even afford to pay attention. our $199.00 in food stamps doesn't feed us an entire month.

Pain level wont let up. I cant' get out much at all with triple digits on the thermometer, that's no surprise, I don't go many places during the summer anyway BUT I'D LIKE TO BE INVITED!!!!!!

I've only just realized how many friends , some from church, from other places, have NEVER invited me to their homes for dinner. People used to do that. What has happened to America?

I even posted a short rant like this on April 15th in notes on my FB page and only 4 people replied. OUT OF 114 at that time!!!. I know I have a fantastic family who loves me more than many families do. I am very blessed in many areas of my life. Because of a frugal and loving grandmother I don't have to worry about my home, it's paid for. I don't have many bills which is good, because I'm so broke.

I'm sorry for this rant. I really don't want replies saying you are sorry or anything like that. This is a rant and, I guess, a pity party. I'll get over it... just don't know how many bodies I will leave in my wake afterward.

I am thankful for you, my Stumble Inn friends, you are always there. I just REALLY wish my friends IRL would be there. I honestly think if I lived alone, and my family was not included, I could lay dead in my house and would not be found for MONTHS! It's just a very lonely feeling.

Again, sorry for the rant.