My oldest son moved back home when he and his girlfriend broke up. This was three years ago. He's moved again...this time with his current gf. He seems much happier.

Both my boys know they always have a place to come back to. I liked it when oldest DS was here before because he parked his police car in the driveway and I just felt like that was sort of a built in security system.

It was an adjustment because I didn't know how messy he had become. We had to have a little talk about that but he kept his room clean. He was hardly ever here between working his full-time job and all the part-time jobs he took......security at the arena during concerts, HS ball games, etc.

It's funny how accustomed we get to our daily routine. Someone moving in can really cause a rift in that. I was also surprised at how much like my own mother I was sounding!

I never left. Stayed home to help my dad with my mom. (she had a TBI when she was 17, and it took a few years for some of the more bothersome results of that to show up) Then I was taking classes and kind of thinking of escaping my parents house...my MS showed up and now I'm kind of stuck here.

Yes, my DD came home. She had finished grad school, was engaged, was all set to settle in the college town. 5 weeks before the wedding, bf called it off. It was all I could do to keep from jumping in my car. DH got me sane again. DH drove up, packed her up and brought her back. She was able to transfer her job, and that helped. I guess she was home about 1 1/2 years, met a guy, moved in and took her 2 dogs too. He is now my SIL. Stuff happens, you can only hope all works out well.

My kids don't move back home, they just keep moving their junk home.

When DD#2 had to quit college because she was only living there and not taking classes she moved home to get a job. I thought I was doing tough love by setting some pretty stiff rules which didn't help this kid who didn't know where she was going. All she knew was that she reached out to her parents. So I kind of drove her to living with this guy. She tried to make it look like she was living at home and 'staying at girl friends house at times'. So now she is married to this guy, only one working so she can put him through college. He is barely passing and has great aspirations of which I don't see how any of them cn work out. They broke up and she moved back home but then got back together. So here she is, working her butt off trying to makes bills and he is still not working, going to school only when he feels like getting up in the morning. I try to tell him that being a social worker is a wonderful aspiration but he needs a Masters and he can't even get an associate yet. But she is still my daughter and I will do anything I can do to help her. In an odd way we still love him to. He was given a terrible childhood and I feel if they ever broke up that I would still have an extra child.

WOW! you guys made me feel so much better. I know our job is to give them roots to be firmly planted, and then give them wings and teach them to fly. I felt like a bit of a failure. My heart breaks for him and the situation he is in, but at least from THIS home base, he can save money, can afford to eat, will be loved, and directed, and is now so low from being beaten down so much emotionally from this girl, that he is ready to be remolded into a real man, and not just her personal ATM machine. She dragged home a washer/dryer combo last night and he said "WTF?!" I do the laundry and I go one block up the street to do it, WHY do we need this? she went on about how she wasnt living without one. He said "how are YOU going to pay for this?!" and she responded "Oh sweetie, what you dont understand is its in YOUR name I signed for it as YOUR WIFE and WE will pay for it by the week. $50 a week for a washer dryer. He had his friend take him to the store, showed them HIS drivers license and then he had them change the paper work or face the cops coming. They put it in HER UNmarried name without his as a ryder and told them that if they EVER used his name again, he would have them all arrested.

He is coming home quite broken, quite sad, quite broke with zero money, and he used to be quite flush with the world. This girl spend a truck load of money in his name, and went many places claiming to be his wife, and got joint credit. We think we have gotten all of those accounts settled as fraudulent, but it will be easier now that he is willing to prosecute should need be. He said he will leave her $50 on the dresser (treating her like a whore) and this will allow her to not lose her job. She needs gas money to get back and forth till Wednesday but its not enough for cigarettes or candy or a weekend trip that she had hoped for. She saved him from losing his job by taking him back and forth, so he said he is repaying the kindess.

Im going to have my hands full with how broken he is, but perhaps it will make it easier to get him dusted off and back in the right direction.

Thanks for the support. its so nice to know I am not alone.

My sons never left! My oldest who's 24 is terrified of growing up.

s to you and your son Dej. He really needs some help with regards to this 'girlfriend'. It's extremely hard to break away from an abuser. That's what she is imo.

I have some book titles that would really open his eyes to what is going on with her and help him to help himself. I don't know if he would be willing to read them but just let me know and I'll give you names of them.

They have helped me immensely. .

If anyone has a good book that they would reccomend, please send me a message with it, and why it helped you.

I have the first book for him already
Healing the sensitive heart.
Then the seat of the soul.

what else ya got.

He really is horribly broken, and after leaving an abused situation its going to take some time to rebuild.