Well, he IS taking my advice and confronting her today. He said he didnt want to run out like a thief in the night, and he act like a child. He is waiting for her to get home from work to "talk" to her and if she doesnt want to talk, then he said he will leave or call the cops. He needs to confront her to heal himself.

Woooo Good boy!

I hope he has all his stuff ready to go....or at least the things he wants to take today. She doesn't sound like she's playing with a full deck. I really hope the police don't have to get involved. But, I've watched enough Judge Judy episodes to know that everything needs to be documented.

he wrote me and said he has taken all of his belongings to his dads house. he has gotten his name OFF the lease. He talked to her sister who is willing to move in this eve, so she wont have to take on the financial strain of the place herself. He said "mom, once upon a time I loved her, and she loved me. I cant see another way out, and I know I need to go, but I dont have to run like I did something wrong." so...lets see where this goes.

He's right....he's done nothing wrong by wanting to leave. He sounds like he's got his head on straight. From what you've told us about her.....I wouldn't trust her at all.

My oldest DS (the cop) had to respond to a domestic dispute once and the girl was accusing the guy of punching her in the back. She even had a huge welt and it was red and swollen. The guy kept insisting that she was nuts and had done it to herself. Nobody believed him because how can someone punch themselves in the back? And leave such a mark? Well, DS finally listened to him (the guy was frantic) and allowed him to show them what he had as "evidence" that she self-inflicted this wound. The guy showed them a pair of panty hose she had thrown behind the bed that had several pieces of wooden fruit (a painted apple, pear and several lemons) in the foot and leg. She had taken the hose and whacked herself on the back several times (by swinging the hose with the wooden fruit inside over her shoulder) leaving the marks! She finally admitted to it. Seriously......guess who they ended up taking to jail that night? I never believed such crazy people existed till I heard that story!

Thankfully, she has never hit him, or thrown things at him, but she does have a very abusive mouth, and she is quite the money bully. All he ever wanted was for her to love him, and all she ever wanted was a house husband with a paycheck. He said she screams and become quite violent in temper if a girl talks to him while pumping gas, but yet she is dragging home men to sleep with now!

I have said from the begining this girl aint right. There is something wrong with her. She has been divorced 3 times, and there is strange stories about some kids that live with another man who had them taken away, but no one has ever seen proof of that. She denies having any kids. All I know is that when he is with her, she isolates him from his friends and family and that is the first move an abuser does. He isnt allowed to talk to me more than once every two weeks or he is called a momma's boy. and he wasnt even allowed to call me when I was in the hospital. So, she is a messed up girl. Once upon a time I had some hope, but the first time she dragged home another boy I knew it was a deal breaker for me.

Thank God there are no children involved. What a mess that would be to have to be chained to her for the next 21 years. ick!

Is he Christian/religious/a believer? I have several books that tie in The Bible and spiritual healing in situations like his I would be willing to share, even send him from my library.

If not, there are many other places that can help him. Please understand this is a loss, he needs to be guided through the 5 stages of grief,

Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression and
Acceptance.

It's not just for when someone dies, it's for all part of life to which there is a loss.

He called me to tell me that he is still talking to her. He wont be coming to NH tonight. He said she is crying and lying but also telling him things that make sense, like she doesnt want to accept the room mate he found (her sister) because she is a drinker and they have lived together in the past and fought (picture me and my sis) so since she refuses his room mate that he found, legally he IS still on the hook. He called the landlord and the landlord agreed that if she refuses his choice, the landlord WILL chase him for rent.

it all got tangled past that, and his father offered him 2 weeks worth of work that would give him enough money to buy him that truck he is looking at. He said he will probably live at dads house for 2 weeks while trying to negotiate with her on a new roommate. He also said he knows she isnt capable of behaving herself as she has promised to do while he finds a replacement renter, and the landlord promised him that if she became violent or reverts to her shouting, abusive rants, that BOTH of them would be released (evicted) from the apartment.

Im torn. It is the right thing to do, to NOT walk away from his obligation to that lease. It is the right thing to do to NOT sleep in that apartment while he hunts. It is the right thing to do to work it out with her, even if she is a bit more than nuts. but part of me wants to just have him drop and run.

I will have to let him tie up the strings of what he untied and earn his way out. It may be 2 days or 2 weeks before he finds someone. If she refuses all that he finds in the next two weeks, the landlord says he will see that as manipulative and force her to either accept a replacement or take on the lease for herself.

He had the cable/phone/internet/light/water/power put in HER name. He owes money on those bills, and will have to work to pay off what he owes. He sold his wrecked truck for scrap value today and is doing other things to get enough money to close the door behind him when he leaves, instead of allowing it to swing open like an old barn door.

Im so proud, yet so worried, yet so leary, yet so fed up...make sense? I spoke to his dad and he has agreed to let him stay in his old room (not on the couch this time) for up to one month. His wife really gives this kid a hard time, so I know he cant stay there but at least its rent free space till he can work his way out of the hole he dug.

For those that dont know my son is 2 states away, so he cant just jump in the truck and come visit or even come here and take care of his business there. if he is interviewing roommates he needs to do it in person. The land lord is also looking as well. g/f is ANGRY! she doesnt want to live with a stranger, so she feels as if she is being "put in danger" I suggest she find someone before they do.

Thanks for the prayers and well wishes.